Black Heart
by Eve of Ambar
Summary: What if Angel didn't really recover from his "bad boy" period during the chase of Darla & Drusilla,what if this half Angel half Angelus finds out that his Buffy sleeping with Spike?This pure angst, it's not a very nice Angel people.Chapter 20-21 a
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Author's note (1): This is the same story as before, but I've removed the NC-17 bits.

Author's note (2): As always, my mother tongue isn't English so please, no flames.

Author's note (3): The time line for BtVS is after Smashed. Buffy is sleeping with Spike, but no one knows about it. The Season 3 events for AtS haven't happened yet.

Summary: My fic won't be following the time line exactly for what happened during BtVS or AtS. What if Angel didn't really recover from his "bad boy" period during the chase of Darla & Drusilla? What if eventually his Angel investigation friends accepted him back despite it? And what if this half-Angel/half-Angelus finds out that his Buffy sleeping with Spike? This pure angst, **it's not a very nice Angel people**.

Rating: R for violence, mention of non-consensual sex, abuse, bad language

Pairing: B/S, A/B, Aus/Buffy 

Review: Yes, please!

Disclaimer: BTVS & Angel not mine. The rest is mine.

 Distribution: Sure, just let me know. The NC-17 version of this story (only one- two chapters are rated as NC) can be found at the wonderful Brytanica site, just follow the link: 

http://liquid2k.com/enchanting-place/main.html

Beta :  O.k, this will take long! When I posted it first I didn't have any beta, you can see through the reviews, but now I have and this fic is totally beta . I would like to thank the amazing and wonderful Sigma for beta this fic for me, he is doing such a great fast job, really, I enjoy reading my stories through his beta, so thanks Sigma!

Ho…and you can visit his site at: www.geocities.com/sigmazed4/index.html

Chapter 1

She never felt so humiliated in her life, even as a human. Harmony missed her smoochies bear, and thinking of the irritating Slayer being all over him made her un-beating heart ache in frustration.

"She will pay!"

She'd found out from some other vampire about what her blonde bear had been doing, and now she was furious. She'd really disliked Buffy when she hadn't been a vampire, but now she despised her.

She went to find the only person she could think of: Cordelia. However, all she found was a really pissed-off looking Angel.

"I...I'll come back later..." She turned, trying to run away, but he grabbed her arm and twisted it painfully. "Ow! Angel, my arm! Do you mind?"

Angel just stared at her coldly, "I thought I told you not to come back here!"

Harmony twisted in his arms, not realizing that this wasn't the Angel she had met before. She continued to whine quietly about her Spike and Slutty.

Suddenly hearing what she was saying, Angel spun her around to face him, his voice low and threatening, "What did you say?"

"Nothing, really. I...I had problems with my Spikey, and I thought Cordelia would be here. She's not, so I'm just going to go..."

"God, Harmony, what do you take me for, you stupid bimbo? I heard you say something about Spike and Buffy. Why don't you tell me about it? And if you lie..." He twisted her arm until it broke, and she screamed.

"Ok!" she sobbed between cries. "Please, Angel, you're hurting me."

He released her arm roughly, ignoring her screams and sobs. Harmony quickly told him everything she knew about Spike and Buffy, but when she had finished, she suddenly realized that he wasn't acting like Angel. "Angelus?" she whispered, terrified, but suddenly hopeful that he would help her get her Spikey back...

"Angel." he said tonelessly.

A stake appeared in his hand, and he slammed it into her heart. Startled, Harmony could only gasp before she turned to dust.

Later that day, when the other members of Angel Investigations had come into work, Angel informed them that he was leaving to help a friend in need. They didn't dare question him. Since he'd returned from chasing the hell-bitch twins, Drusilla and Darla, they knew that their Angel was gone for good, replaced with someone else -- someone between Angelus and Angel. He still helped the needy, but he didn't hope for redemption anymore. He didn't kill humans for food, but he was extremely cruel at times, like Angelus. No one really wanted to learn how much of Angelus he was. Instead, they just accepted that their boss was harsh and pretended that there wasn't a problem.

Occasionally, Cordelia could get through to him, but she knew her limits. And this time, there was a very clear limit.

On his way to Sunnydale, he didn't really think about Buffy and their "eternal" love. When he had become the Angel/Angelus hybrid, he had realized that she was his...forever. He didn't really think about the tall figure sitting next to him either. This was a satisfied client who owed Angel a favor...and Angel thought this was a very good time to collect it.

Buffy, Willow, and most of the others were at the Magic Box. Buffy was pacing nervously, until Dawn walked in, follow by Spike.

"Dawn!" She felt a great surge of relief.

"Found her outside the Bronze, with some friends."

Buffy smiled thankfully at him, before picking up her stuff. She was mad at Dawn, but she didn't want to fight with her in front of the others. "We should go home."

Anya nodded, "Yes, go home and fight there."

Xander rolled his eyes at this but gave her a quick hug. He seemed ready to say something, but Angel suddenly burst into the store.

Buffy looked worried, "Angel! Is everything ok?"

"Actually, no." he answered coldly.

Giles cleaned his glasses nervously, suspiciously looking at the stranger standing next to Angel.

"A friend." Angel stated, seeming to read his mind.

Buffy came closer, frowning slightly. He could smell Spike all over her and it sickened him. "I need something from you."

"What's wrong?" she asked softly, her voice so full of love and concern that it almost broke his heart. Almost. "What do you need?"

Spike looked slightly upset, but he knew that she didn't love him. Not yet. She couldn't even bring herself to consider it now.

Angel gestured for his friend to stand next to Buffy as he grabbed her and held her tightly. His friend began to mutter a spell, energy swirling around her. She couldn't get away, and the energy almost suffocated her. Tara and Giles frantically tried spells, but nothing worked. They could only stare helplessly as Buffy began to sag in pain.

The tall man finished, and Angel sliced off his head, making him disappear. Buffy began to regain her feet but had to lean on him for a little while longer. She felt so strange. Slowly, she raised her head and really looked at Angel. He seemed so strange, his eyes cold and hard...almost like...she started to struggle. 

"Relax, Buffy, it's still me." He held her tightly in his arms. "I am taking Buffy with me."

"What?" Giles gasped, anger and shock playing across his face. "She's the slayer! You can't just take her away from her duty! And what just happened here!?"

Angel ignored the question, looking for his errant Childe. Seeing him nowhere in the store, he realized that Spike must have left to avoid his wrath. Oh, well. There would be time to take care of him later.

"Angel?" Buffy tried to push him away and stand on her own. "What are you talking about?"

He held her tightly, his voice cold and cruel, "You will not speak unless I tell you to."

"Angel?" she whispered, confused. "What's wrong?"

"I know about you and Spike." 

His words made her shiver, they were filled with so much hate and loathing. She suddenly had to face her friends, face what she was sure would be disgust and loathing. "Is this revenge Angel? Telling my friends, my watcher, my sister?" 

Dawn looked knowingly at her sister; she'd known for a while about what was going on with Spike, but she felt a bit betrayed at not being told. Glancing at everyone else, she could see her own feelings mirrored there. Angel spoke again, "This is not revenge, Buffy. I have changed, and I am going to take my life back. And that means you."

The ex-lovers stared at each other, ignoring the others' worried and concerned expressions. Buffy, by this point, looked mad enough to stake him. "What the hell do think I'll do? Just drop everything and follow you to God knows where?" 

He smirked. "No, I didn't. That's why I asked my friend to help."

"And the thanks he gets is having his neck snapped?" she snorted.

"That was the deal, and he knew it. We should get going before the sun comes up."

"Like hell I'm going with you, Angel! My life is here. If you wanna talk or whatever, fine. If not, get the hell away from _my_ town!"

He grabbed her, and she tried to push him away, only to find herself too weak to budge him. "What did you do to me!?" 

Angel just held her, his expression warning the others not to come any nearer. He did feel that he had to explain himself though, because he really still cared about these people. He wasn't all Angelus. While he searched for the right words, Tara spoke up, "He was a warlock, wasn't he?"

Angel nodded silently, but Buffy stopped her struggles for a second in confusion. "Why would you need a warlock?"

"To take away your Slayer powers..." Giles suddenly figured out what had happened.

"What?" Willow frowned "Why?"

Angel shrugged, as if it were a normal occurrence. "I already explained, Willow. I came to take Buffy, my mate, and there is nothing you can do."

Buffy was hysteric now, struggling with all her diminished might to get away from his grip. The arms that had once held her lovingly and tenderly now grasped her tightly and cruelly.

"You can't fight me, any of you. I put a protecting spell on both of us, and only I can break it! As I'm sure you've figured out by now, Giles, the spell I used can't be uncast."

Giles stood silently, feeling helpless. There was absolutely nothing he could do. Dawn began to cry, "But, Buffy...you can't just take her away from me! Angel, please, don't do that to me!"

He softened a little, but didn't change his mind. "Giles will be here for you. I'm not taking her away forever. You'll see her eventually."

"Angel..." Buffy, beginning to cry herself, tried to think of how to appeal to the heart he'd obviously buried very deeply.

"Don't."

"I will fight you!" she hissed.

"I'm counting on that!" he snapped.

"How will you keep me from getting away in daylight!?"

Angel smirked slightly and showed her his ring, the Gem of Amara. She gasped, along with the rest of the room. Her struggles intensified, and she tried to punch him, but he caught her hand easily. "Don't fight me, lover. You'll loose each time." 

Giles tried to reason with him "How do you expect us to handle the Hellmouth without a Slayer?"

"I would tell you that I don't care, but since I do, I'll tell you the truth: Faith is being released from jail. You could ask her help out. I'll leave the details up to you. Now, we have to go. If any of you will try to get her back, I promise you that I won't play nice. Don't forget that I'll be guarding her at all times."

He dragged the still-fighting Buffy with him out the door, but eventually he picked her up to hasten his progress. His car was right outside, and he gently placed her in the seat next to him and drove away, leaving the Scoobies to watch helplessly.

Angel didn't talk as they made their way to LA. She stared at him, anger and fear coursing through her.

"It won't make a difference, you know" she said in a broken, tired voice.

"I don't care, Buffy. You are with me now. If you want to act like a little brat, that's fine with me."

More tears came to her already red and swollen eyes. "Do you think you can kidnap me like some caveman and expect me to willingly fit into your mold!?"

"No, I don't. But you'll learn."

"Learn...learn what?"

"Your place, as my mate. You see, I didn't just put a protection spell on you. I bound us by blood. You are now immortal."

"I...I don't want to be immortal! I don't!"

"You act as if you had a choice. You don't. You will be my consort: live by my rules, share my bed..."

Buffy laughed, sounding hysterical now. "Are you crazy? Share your bed? Have you even thought about the curse? Or are you planning on becoming Angelus?"

"Ouch, Buffy! That hurts." He sounded mocking, but he really was hurt by her words and actions. He didn't want to harm her, but she had to learn. Later, there would be plenty of time for tenderness.

"I hate you!"

"Don't say words that you don't mean, lover." His voice was low and threatening. "I removed the curse before I came. I'm not stupid."

"What? All this time you could have..." She trailed off. This hurt far worse than his previous actions. He could have been there, with her, and he chose not to.

Angel watched as the emotions played over her face. He knew that she thought he had known about the spell for a while. He had actually only found it a few days ago and had planned on telling her right away. Now it didn't matter. He would tell her what really had happened, but now she had to suffer like he had suffered when he'd smelt his Childe all over her.

"I will not share your bed, Angelus!"

He smiled, the beautiful look jarred by his almost mocking tone. "It's Angelus, now? Call me whatever you like, Buffy. You will follow my rules and share my bed. In return, I will give you everything you need."

"I am not your whore!" she snarled. 

His hand came up, and she braced herself for a blow, but he only tucked a few errant strands of hair behind her ear. She relaxed slightly and sighed. He didn't seem to want to hurt her physically, but emotionally...what would she be like after a century at his side?  She began to sob quietly, but her cries soon grew louder. Angel stroked her gently, making soothing noises.

"Please, Angel, take me home. Please!" she begged, but he merely shook his head silently.

"Shh, love. You will get used to this. I promise."

Finally, she cried herself out and fell asleep. Angel had stopped the car when she'd begun to sob, and now he looked at her with a smile. She was his now. She'd learn eventually. Whether it was through pain or pleasure was entirely her choice...

Review, please!!!


	2. chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After Angel left, the gang was silent, too wrapped up in their own thoughts and worries to speak. Finally, Xander broke the silence. "What the hell just happened here? Is dead guy deader then ever, or what?"

Willow looked rather puzzled, trying to decipher what he had just said.

"What?" he asked.

Slightly amused by Xander's little speech and rather upset by what had just happened, no one thought about Dawn. She was sitting in the corner, trembling in the shock and grief that came from losing her sister..._again._

Tara was the first to notice her. She kneeled next to Dawn and stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. "Dawnie, honey, are you ok?"

The others finally noticed the shaking girl. Giles hesitated for a second. He had vital information he needed to tell the Scoobies, but it wasn't for Dawn's ears. "Ah, Anya, why don't you take Dawn home? It's rather late, in fact, almost morning. She should get some sleep."

"No!" Dawn stood up to him defiantly. " I won't go, Giles! This is my sister. To you she's just a slayer…"

He didn't take offence at her words, although they were untrue. "We are all very upset, Dawn. I need to research. Please, go home. I promise you I'll get Buffy back."

She snorted. "Don't say things you don't mean."

He just sighed and gestured for Anya to get her out of there. Reluctently, Anya started to drag her away, muttering as she went, "I don't get why you're making such a big fuss. It's not like he is a stranger. We are talking about Buffy's ex."

"_Ex_." Willow emphasized. "And it is a big deal Anya. He can't just come here and take her away...he can't! It's not right. And what about her powers? You can't just do things like that and walk away only because you want your sweetheart back."

"I wasn't saying that! God, why do you always twist my words? I am only saying that this is Angel not Angelus. He won't hurt her."

"You can hurt people other ways than physically. You can hurt their emotions. Oh, now I know why you didn't get it! You don't have any to hurt!"

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Enough!" Giles shouted, silencing the room. "Right. Now that I have everyone's attention, remember this: Buffy needs us, all of us. Stop fighting and bickering like children! If you can't put petty squabbles behind you, I'll just have to do everything myself. Dawn," he turned to her, his voice softening, "would you please be so kind and go with Anya? I want Buffy back, too. I know you are hurting; I know she is everything for you. I promise I will whatever is necessary to get her back!"

Dawn stared at him for a moment, obviously holding back tears, before running to him. She grabbed him in a desperate hug and began to sob. Surprised, Giles could only hold her gently and murmer comforting things to her. 

Once she had calmed down, she quietly left with Anya. The remaining quartet wearily began their impromptu meeting, Willow being the first to speak, "Ok, Giles, what can you tell us about this warlock that Angel brought with him?"

"Really, I can't tell you much about him, but I do know what his spell did." He faced the young faces, looking sadly at the tired determination in their eyes. "This spell was first used on Slayers two centuries ago. You see, there were times where the Slayers weren't fit to stay Slayers. There were good reasons for it. Sometimes they were too un-disciplined, like Faith. Sometimes they were simply too young. Those are the reasons the spell was used...mostly. However, there were a few times that a Slayer was a member of a very influential and rich family, and her new position didn't suit their desires. "

"So...what?" Willow looked confused. "They just used this spell, and the council accepted that?"

"I never said it was a good reason, but it happened, occasionally."

"But...why would the council agree to this?"

"Money." Xander sighed.

"Ah, quite true, Xander. Those families gave a lot of money to the council, and the council just called a new Slayer. I know it sounds unfair, but the rich didn't want their daughters dying young."

"So…" Tara said softly, "this warlock put this spell on Buffy. Why did Angel kill him?"

"I would say that he's trying to make the spell permanent. You see, the only person who can undo the spell is the person who cast it."

There was a long silence as his words sank in. Willow sighed heavily, "Then there is nothing we can do."

Xander stood up angrily. "No, don't say that! Come on, Will, there has to be a way! After all we've been through, I will not accept that we lost her! I know she's still alive this time, but being taken away from us like she was makes her as good as dead."

No one answered. There was not much to say. Giles finally spoke, "I don't want to do this, but I have to tell you: there are other things you need to know about Angel/Angelus. I haven't told Buffy this. I was trying to protect her, but now I am afraid that she will find out by herself."

"What things?" Willow hesitently asked.

He sighed again, "Well, you see...when Angel drank from Buffy, he marked her. When a vampire marks someone, he or she claims them as their mate. This along with their claddagh ring and their...their love-making basically makes her, according to their traditions, his wife. In the demon world, what they did is basically a wedding ceremony."

Xander looked stunned. "So what…he can just come here and take her? Can we call the police?" The others looked at him in disbelief. "Ok, stupid idea."

"Xander, she's not a regular girl, you know. We'll have to handle it by ourselves." Giles stood up. "There are other things I should tell you, but for now those are the important ones."

"Do you think he will divorce her or something when she starts looking like his mother instead of wife?" Xander once again received odd looks. "What? What did I say?"

"You never cease to amaze me with your ideas, Xander...although actually I hadn't thought about it."

Willow seemed to think of something, raising her hand.

"Willow!" Giles scold her "You are not in school."

"Right." she blushed and lowered her hand. "Do you think that he will turn her, to keep her, you know…you know what I mean?"

"Yes, Willow, I know what you mean, and I do hope he won't. We have to remember he isn't Angelus. If he were, I am sure we would all be dead by now."

"So...maybe there's a spell to respell or something..." She trailed off as the others shot worried glances at her. "I won't do it, but maybe Tara…Tara?" She seemed to have disappeared. "Tara?" She finally emerged from the bookstacks, relieving Willow until she noticed the horrified expression on Tara's face. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Placing an open book on the table, Tara mumbled quietly, obviously deeply taken aback by whatever the book contained. Xander lost his patience first. "Spill it will ya?"

"It's the spell Angel used. I…it was familiar to me, so I decided to find it. You see, in the spell, I sensed merging. Giles, the spell you know, does it contain any kind of merging?"

"Not at all. It just discarded the Slayer powers."

"Well, there was one in this spell. I figured out what he did. "

"Please do tell us"

"He merged both of them. He made her immortal and bound her to him for all eternity..."

To be continued

Please please do the review thingy… :-)


	3. chapter 3

The song is Black, Black Heart by David Usher  
Chapter 3

When they finally arrived LA, it was almost morning. Buffy stirred as dawn broke over the horizon. Wearily scrubbing the sleep out of her eyes, she tried to remember where she was. Shifting in her seat, she saw Angel smiling at her, his eyes as cold as ice. "Good morning, sleepy beauty."

She just stared at him. Last night...she'd thought it was just a dream. After all, she couldn't count the times she'd dreamt of Angelus coming for her...but he wasn't Angelus. He was Angel, her Angel...wasn't he? Maybe he had a really bad night, and maybe he didn't mean what he'd done last night. Maybe he'd give her strength back. Maybe he'd take her home. Maybe... "Angel," she asked cautiously, "where are we going, exactly?"

"Home!" he announced happily.

After a split second, she smiled, relieved. She was right. She'd go home, and then they could talk and make up for what had happened. Everything would be fine now. Maybe Angel had been possessed by some demon or something. Yeah, that was probably it.

Angel watched as she smiled beautifully, wiping away her look of trepidation. He opened his mouth to speak again, but she started to babble happily, "Angel, I am so glad that we are going home. We'll have to explain to everyone what happened last night. Oh, God, I have to call Dawnie! She'll be worried sick about me without my Slayer powers. How do I get them back? Never mind we'll ask Giles..." Suddenly she took a good look at the approaching city."Um, Angel, that's LA. We should, like, turn around..."

"Why turn around?"

She hesitated for a second, but her smile didn't dim. "Home is in Sunnydale. You know, Hellmouth, sweet Hellmouth?"

He chuckled. "Buffy, Buffy, Buffy. Always so naïve. Well, that's about to change. Home is in LA. God, Buff, didn't you hear a word I said last night?"

_Something ugly this way comes,_

_From my fingers, sliding inside_

_All these blessings,_ _All these burns_

_I'm godless underneath your covers_

_Search for pleasure,_ _Search for pain_

_In this world, now I am undying_

"Wh...what you mean last night?"

"Why, Buffy, I know it's early in the morning, but do you think you can get your brain working for a moment? We ARE home. Your home is with me in LA. The sooner you accept it, the better we'll all be."

_I unfurl my flag, my nation helpless..._

"Why, Angel? Why punish me like this? Why interfere in my life? Haven't I suffered enough?" She knew she sounded pathetic, but she didn't care.

"Why, I thought this is what you always wanted! 'I want my life to be with you' isn't that what you said?" His chill voice mocked her.

Her smile was long gone, and tears now sprang to her eyes. Sagging with weariness, she quietly whispered,"Not like this...not like this. I have another life now, and you always gave me a choice!"

"You don't have one, now!" he growled "This is the real me, Buffy. This is what you can have: take it or leave it."

"I'll leave it" she snapped.

"If that's your decision, fine. I don't really care what you think: you will be with me, willingly or not. I am setting the rules now, and believe me I have plenty. I let you run free for years, and it's time to reclaim you. Don't try to fight me because you will lose. I guarantee that!"

_Black, black heart_, _Why would you offer more?_

_Why would you make it easier on me_ _to satisfy?_

She wasn't ready for this; she couldn't deal with this. Dealing with Angelus and the like was comparatively easy. She could pretend to be strong, not showing fear in front of her enemies...but this...She could fight Angel...had fought Angel, but beneath it all, she loved him. She couldn't fight that! "You can't decide my fate, you know. You can't just take over the Powers That Be's job. You aren't a god!"

"I don't give a damn about that, Buffy! Where were they when I lost my soul, and innocent people died!? Where were they when Doyle died!?"

"I'm sorry, Angel. Sorry for Doyle and all the torment that you suffered for centuries, but this isn't the answer! Are you playing god just to spite them? Just to show them that you can take something from them as well?"

"Enough!!! It's not that. I need to be with you, Buffy. I should never have let you god. You are mine, and I am done with playing nice. You belong to me, and I do not have any intention of EVER letting you go."

"I don't WANT to be with you!"

"You don't have a choice! I don't want to punish you, Buffy, but I will if I have to!"

"You can't just kidnap me, and do as you please with me!"

"You are mine to take!" he growled "Mine to do with as I please."

_As I begin to lose my grip_

_Of these realities you're sending_

_Taste your mind and taste your sex_

_I'm naked underneath your cover_

_Covers lie, and we will bend and borrow_

"You can't keep me forever, Angel, and you know what? I may not hate you now, but just give me some time and you'll learn what pure hatred is!"

Never before had Buffy even considered talking to him so harshly, but she had never considered the possibility that he could act this way, either. Angel was furious now. She had dared to speak to him like that! He'd let her do what she pleased for far too long. He could see that he'd have to completely break her spirit before he could build her back up into what he wanted. "You are wasting your breath, lover! And you will learn not to say what you don't mean. I warned you once before!"

"Oh, what are you gonna do? Kill me? Torture me?"

"I could do all that, you know. I might, too, if you don't shut the FUCK up!!!" 

She really feared him now. Never before had she really considered what he might do to her. For the first time, she seriously began to consider whether death might be better than being with him.

"What are you thinking, darling?" His question, dripping with false sincerity, hung in the air, challenging her to speak up.

"Senile, much? You just told me to 'shut the fuck up'!"

He snorted slightly. She certainly still was the rude, witty, smart-assed Buffy. It gave him a new idea of how to break her. An additional bonus of his little plan was that it would probably shut her up for the rest of the ride. The truth had always been a good weapon against innocent...he smirked. "You know, Buffy, you always thought that Angelus returned only when I lost my soul, but the truth is he was always there." She snorted, not believing him in the least. "Yes, I know that you don't believe me, but, like I knew everything he did, Angelus knew everything I did."

"So what? I already knew that."

"Why, yes, I thought you might. What you probably didn't know was this: whenever I showed my game-face, it was Angelus pushing his way to the front. He came to protect his mate. The only thing that stopped him from killing you was my intervention."

She sat, stunned. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I am not trying to upset you, just trying to lesson your anger. I admit I have changed, but that change is what made me whole. Being Angel or Angelus was only being half of myself. Now I am both." It was time to strike even deeper. "That night we made love, it was Angelus who pushed me into it. I wouldn't have done a thing if he hadn't interfered."

"No...I don't believe you!" Buffy could only brokenly sob.

"It's the truth, baby. I thought you should know."

"No..."

Angel left her to her grief and tears, admiring how she wore sorrow almost like a gorgeous gown. His plans were progressing nicely. He could break her, and when he did, it would be a new age for them.

As Buffy tried to process what had been told, hot tears streamed down her face. Her world had just been turned upside down. Angel didn't want her, never had wanted her. It was always Angelus...now he wanted her. How could she survive this?

_With the coming sign_

_The tide will take,_

_The sea will rise,_

_And time will rape ..._

Would she ever see her family, her friends, again? Would he slowly drive her mad like he had done with Drusilla?

_Black, black heart..._

_I'm on fire, I'm rotting to the core_

_All your sex and your diamonds....._

She leaned against the window in despair. The sun glistened off her hair and smooth skin, and Angel watched his goddess in amazement. Her eyes were closed, unwilling to look at the truth. Golden hair curled around her face as it hung freely. Her red lips pressed tightly together, showing the depths of her sorrow. Both the demon and the soul gazed in appreciation at the gorgeous figure.

When they finally arrived at the Hyperion hotel, the sun was high in the sky and Angel paused for a moment to let it wash his face. He still wasn't used to its caressing feel. Gently, he shook Buffy awake. "We're here."

Walking around the car, he opened her door and offered his hand in a gentlemanly fashion to help her out. She reluctantly took it, but when she stepped out of the car, someone approached the two of them.

Angel sighed in annoyance. It was Craig, a client from last week and a pain in the ass. His wife claimed that she could see aliens, and Craig was willing to pay anything to take care of the problem. At an earlier time, when he was still only Angel, he wouldn't have considered it. But, now, he thought of the money, reasoning that if Craig was stupid enough to believe his wife, he didn't deserve to have that much wealth.

"Angel!" Craig looked worried, his red hair gleaming in the sunlight.

"Hey, Craig. Listen, this isn't a good time." 

He knew Craig was an arrogant bastard who liked bossing people around. "I don't care! I paid you plenty, but my wife saw them again..." He then noticed the amazing blonde next to Angel.

"This is my wife, Buffy. Buffy, Craig."

She shook his hand, inwardly seething. She was now his wife?

Craig looked her up and down, appreciatively. "Wow, I didn't know you had a wife. Aren't you pretty?" 

Angel growled slightly, and he backed down. They continued to argue, and Angel forgot to hold on to Buffy's hand. She knew she would probably never have a chance like this again. Getting up her courage, she ran for it. When Angel finally dismissed Craig, he noticed that Buffy was missing. "Damn it!" His demon face came out, contorting his angelic face into a mask of hatred. "She will pay for that! When I'll find her, I will make her so sorry that she won't even think of trying to leave again!" 

Buffy, meanwhile, had found a pay-phone. Frantically searching her clothes for loose change, she finally gave up and made a collect call. "Yes, please...Giles, Rupert Giles...Sunnydale, California..." She waited for an answer, every nerve on edge. Would he be home?

"Buffy? Is that you? Is Angel there?"

She sobbed brokenly in relief. "Yes, it's me,  Giles. No, he's not here. I...I ran away. You have to rescue me Giles...Please!"

"All right, Buffy, where are you exactly?"

"I...I don't know...God, I ran so quickly. I don't know were I am."

"Ok, calm down, Buffy. Breathe! Try to see where you are..."

She looked around for a marker, but suddenly a rough hand grabbed her and spun her around. "Oh, God..." she gasped, dropping the phone.

"...Hello? Buffy? Buffy, are you still there?"

To be continued…. 


	4. chapter 4

The song in this chapter is Home by Sarah McLachlan

Chapter 4

Buffy dropped the receiver and breathed heavily. The young man standing next to her seemed embarrassed for frightening her that way. "I…I am sorry miss if a frightened you, really. I thought you are someone else."

Buffy smiled shakily, her heart beating fast. Oh, dear God. She had thought he was Angel. Who would have thought that she'd ever be afraid of running into Angel, especially in daylight! "It's ok. I guess I thought you were someone else, too."

Hanging up the phone, she walked down the street. She couldn't believe she'd be so stupid. This was Angel's town! He'd find her right away if she stayed out in plain sight like that. Anyone around her could be his ally. No one could be trusted here. Except...

She began to think of a plan that just might work. Heading for the most crowded areas, she tried to blend in. By now, she had grown hungry and tired. In this big city, without her powers, she felt helpless and alone. She had used to live here, but that was back when she thought there were only human predators to worry about.

The day passed surprisingly quickly as she wandered around the city. It was probably stupid, but she hoped to be less obvious at night, when the weirdos came out.

Coming to a well-known street, she nervously waited for the crosslight to change, then hurried into the police station at the corner. The policeman at the front desk didn't seem to pleased to see her. He was having what seemed to be an important conversation with his ex-wife, and he turned to her, impatiently. "Yeah?"

"I...I'm looking for a friend of mine. Her name's Faith..."

"Dark hair, tall, tough?"

"Y-yes..."

"She was released last week."

"Oh."

Buffy's hopes sank, and she turned to leave, but the policeman called after her, "Try Duncan's Pub. I here that's where she's been hanging out."

"Thanks."

After she got the address, she quickly found the bar. It seemed pretty popular, with crowds milling around inside and out. Ducking in and wincing slightly at the loud music, she searched the place, but couldn't find Faith anywhere. It seemed her last hope was gone.

The dancers on the floor moved happily as the live band crooned a tune. It reminded her a bit of the Bronze, of the great times she'd had there. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she suddenly wished Angel was there to comfort her. Suddenly, a guy with bleached-blond hair caught her eye...but it wasn't who she wanted. Spike. Any minute now he should come crashing in, make some stupid remark, and rescue her. Oh, God, she'd love his flirting and crude remarks if he was only here...

"Why's a pretty girl like you lookin' so sad?"

She lifted teary eyes to see a stranger grinning at her. He was handsome, with dark brown hair and deep hazel eyes...he almost reminded her of Angel... "I...I'm fine. I'm just waiting for a friend."

"I can wait with you."

"No, thanks." she protested quickly.

The guy leaned close to her, still grinning. "You know what I think? You're sitting here sad and alone, so I think some ass hole dumped you. I'll tell you what, why don't we dance, and maybe I can get a smile from you!"

Buffy sagged slightly. She really, really didn't want to dance. "I'd rather not. Really. I'll just wait for my friend."

"As you wish, darling, but remember: I'm here for you." He winked and disappeared into the crowd.

She took a relieved breath. Her clothes, the same as she had worn yesterday, obviously were drawing a bit too much attention. Why did she have to pick that day to wear a flimsy gold top that barely covered her breasts and very tight black pants? Well, it wasn't exactly like she'd known Angel was coming to kidnap her. Occupied with her thoughts, she idly scanned the room for another half-hour, but there was no sign of Faith. Finally deciding that the call of nature was getting too strong, she headed for the restroom, only to notice that the dark-haired stranger was following her. Trying to avoid him, she ducked out the emergency exit, but found him there, waiting for her. "Look, I know that you don't want to dance, but how about a kiss?" He was still grinning.

Buffy found herself backed against the wall, with no escape. Looking frantically around for something, anything, to help her get away, she tried to stall him. "I...I don't kiss strangers…"

He came closer, his breath brushing her face and his hand came up to caress her cheek. "You are such a beautiful creature..."

She gasped in surprise and fright. "Please...let go of me...please..."

"Oh, I'll let you go...after I'm done with you." Grabbing her face roughly, he tried to kiss her, but she bit his hand, hard. "You bitch!"

He slapped her across the face, and she ducked away, trying to run. Yanking her back, he shoved her to the ground and began to tear at her clothes. She could only sob and try to struggle, until a voice interrupted. "Is that your turn on? Raping women?"

The man looked at the person who dared speak to him like that, but Buffy just kept struggling. Her savior was...Faith! This wasn't exactly how she'd planned their meeting. Yanking Buffy even closer, the man grinned again. "Don't worry, honey. When I'm through with this bitch, you can have a go with me..." 

Before he could finish, Faith already had him slammed against the wall as she pummeled him.

"Faith!" screamed Buffy "Stop! You'll kill him!!"

"Always the protector, eh, B? Fine, let's get you out of here."

Letting go of the now-bloody man, Faith motioned Buffy to follow and left the alley.

"Where are we going?"

"To a friend." They soon entered a building that looked like some kind of refuge for teenagers. "This place belongs to Anne. She helps kids who are on the street. I help her out; she lets me stay. You'll love her, B."

All over the large front room lay teenagers, some watching TV, others playing games, a few reading. As Buffy looked around, a tall, blonde woman came up to them. "Hey, Faith. Someone new?" Finally taking a good look at her companion, the woman gasped. "Buffy!"

Buffy looked slightly confused. She knew the woman, but she couldn't remember where she'd met her.

"You too know each other?"

Anne smiled and explained how they'd met when Buffy ran away.

"That's our Buffy all right!" Faith grinned.

"Look Buffy, you look tired…I …we don't ask to many questions here. Our only real rules are: No violence, no drugs. Why don't you go with Faith and catch up each other on what's been happening?"

After she'd eaten and freshened up, the two Chosen Ones found themselves in Faith's room. It was small, with only a bed and a desk. "I'll be decorating later." Faith apologized, almost shyly.

"It's ok."

"So, B, how are you? I mean, last I saw you, it was at the police station when you and Angel tried to help me, I know you had a big fight over me...I'm sorry. Look, B, I really am sorry and I hope that you and Angel can work things out, 'cause he loves you..."

It was just too much. The sympathy and the reminder of Angel's "love" just broke through her defenses. Buffy broke down and cried. Faith wasn't sure what to do for a moment. B had always been the strong one, and now she was sobbing. Hesitantly putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, Faith listened in shock as the whole story poured forth. Afterward, she wasn't quite sure what to say. "I'm...I'm sorry, B. Are you sure that it wasn't Angelus?"

"Yes! Please, Faith, don't let him take me! Please don't! Please, please…"

Faith was boiling mad now. She couldn't figure out what had happened to Angel to make him hurt B this way. It was totally unlike him.

"I know what you probably think of me, Faith...I'm the Slayer! I'm not suppose to be weak and needy, and I'm just…"

"You don't need to apologize to me, B. I know what's it like to be forced into something. I don't want to talk about it, let's just say that I understand."

"Thanks...I...I know I didn't treat you well the last time we saw each other, but please believe me that I was trying to help you and Angel...It was so hard...it still is, seeing Angel like that. I want to reach him, but I can't. I don't know if I can ever forgive him."

"You will have plenty of time to think about it when you get home."

"I know, but...if...promise me that if I don't make it home...promise me you'll take care of Dawnie for me!"

Faith shook her head in denial. In her mind, there was no way that would happen. Buffy sighed and took her hand. "Faith, we aren't ordinary girls, you and me. It won't ever be easy for us; no white picket fences and 2.5 kids. We're warriors; we fight against evil, and we die young. I never had any illusions about that...and what's so funny?" Faith had burst out laughing.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that you're in deep shit with Angel and all you could think about is encouraging me...still the Slayer! Y'know, that's the reason that you're the greatest."

"The greatest what?"

"The greatest slayer of all. This is the reason you passed that council test. You're natural Slayer: you never give up, always keeping your strength up and your head high no matter what. You've been through so much, you still don't give up." Now it was Buffy's turn to laugh.

"What?" asked Faith, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Hearing all those compliments from you...if I known that a kidnapping would do the trick, then I would have asked for it long ago!" They both laughed, until Buffy's giggles turned into sobs. "I'm afraid, Faith. I don't mind dying, but I'm afraid that I'll never see my friends and family again. I'm afraid that I'm going to get drawn into Angel's dark side. Promise me that if that ever happens, you will finish the job for me...promise me Faith!"

"No, B."

"Promise! Please, you understand, I know you do."

"I...I understand, but...this is Angel we're talking about! I don't think he'll ever hurt you, Buffy; he isn't Angelus. He loves you, and, no matter why he's acting like this, he still loves you! He helped me, B. He used to come visit me on jail, making sure I was fine and all..."

Buffy sighed. Even after everything Faith had gone through, she was still a little naïve. Buffy wasn't fooling herself anymore. Angel was gone, just like he had been gone when Angelus took his place. The only difference between him and Angelus was the yearning for the kill. Angel wouldn't kill innocents, but she wasn't so sure that he considered her an innocent anymore...maybe in his twisted mind she deserved to be punished."Look, Faith, I am not saying that he is Angelus, but part of Angelus is now part of Angel. How much of it, I don't know. You should have seen him barging into the Magic Box, accusing me and Spike...Oh God, Spike!" She'd almost forgotten him. Almost forgotten the way he teased Xander; the way he made Dawn laugh; the way they had made love to each other...

 "B...you and Spike...are you...you are! B, they should call you the vampire layer!"

Buffy grinned slightly, not really offended by her comment. "It's not like that, Faith. Spike was there for me, and he truly does love me. I care about him a lot. I thought that I would always love Angel, but now...anyway Angel knew about me and his Childe. Apparently he smelled on me...well you know...you do know, right?"

Faith nodded. She probably knew more than Buffy did. Giles hadn't been as worried about letting her read about the more violent traits of vampires.

"Promise me, Faith!"

She hugged her. "I promise, B. Tell you what, let's see if Anne can help. I'm sure she'll figure out something, and we can, of course, call Giles. I won't let him hurt you!"

"Thank you, Faith. I should call Giles now...he's probably worried sick. And Dawn...Oh, God, Dawn..."

"It'll be all right, B! Just like old times, you'll see. We'll get you home in no time."

She was able to phone him right away to let him know that she was ok and was coming home. He seemed very relieved, especially considering what had happened last time she'd called. The Chosen Two were able to get Anne's help, although they didn't tell her why they need help. They talked for a few hours, and Buffy noticed that Faith seemed much nicer. More like the pre-mayor Faith. By the time they were ready to go, it was almost midnight. About to say goodbye, Faith noticed two of the street boys were fighting. "Hold on, B. I have to separate those two before they wreck the place!"

Buffy smiled in understanding and was surprised at how well Faith seemed to handle the kids. "Buffy!"

"Oh, Anne! I just wanted to say thank you for..."

"Stop!" interrupted Anne, looking extremely disappointed. "You remember that one of the rules is no drugs?"

"I...I don't use drugs. I swear."

"I don't believe you. A friend of mine is here, and he told me that you do. How could you, Buffy? Are you trying to sell drugs to my kids?"

"No! I don't know who your friend is, and you shouldn't trust…"

"I trust him!" 

"Look if you want me to go, I'll go. I'm just waiting for someone."

"I want you to leave now. My friend will make sure that you don't try anything with the kids."

"What?!?" Buffy was frustrated and pissed off. She'd never even considered doing drugs.

Angel strolled into the light of the front room, with his tight black leather pants creaking slightly and his silk shirt's top three buttons undone. He walked like the predator he was, and her heart skipped beat as she watched him. He stalked closer, every move reminding her of Angelus, every glance searing her with its anger. She was so close to home...

**_So much anger, so deeply ingrained_**

**_Seemed a burden that was hers alone_**

**_She didn't think that there was anything wrong_**

**_With wanting a life that she could call her own_**

"Angel?" she could only gasp weakly. 

All she went through...and he found her. She knew she'd pay. But...where was Faith? She stared into his dark, chocolate eyes, her own gaze sweeping his features. He still looked like her Angel...her dark Angel. Home...

**_Look at the child with the dream in her eyes_**

**_Holding it deep inside her_**

**_Home...   Home...  Home...  Home..._**

To be continued…

Please review would be welcome


	5. chapter 5

  
  


The song is Home by Sarah McLachlan

 Warning: this chapter contains mention of rape, abuse, bad language. (But still just R)

Chapter 5

"Angel told me everything." Anne explained.

Buffy started to back away, desperately looking Faith and some way out. She wasn't just going to be taken without a fight. Strength or no strength, she was the Slayer. Angel, however, saw what she was planning, and, moving with unnatural speed, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her close.

"I guess you will have to learn your lesson sooner then I thought." he whispered silkily in her ears, taking care that no one else could hear him, before smiling and turning to Anne. "Thank you for helping me with her. Everyone was so worried. I'll take care of her now."

"No! Please, Anne, don't let him take me!! You don't understand! He isn't the same Angel you knew; he's gonna hurt me! Faith...Faith!" Struggling and screaming, she tried to escape his incredibly strong grip.

When the other Slayer heard her cries, she rushed back, only to find Buffy trying desperately to get away from Angel."Angel!"

"Faith."

"I can't let you take her."

He smiled mockingly. "Oh, of course, I'll do whatever you want."

"It's ok, Faith." Anne broke in, soothingly. "He's here to help Buffy. She was trying to sell drugs to my kids."

"No! He's lying! I would never do that, Anne. I'm the Slayer!"

Angel laughed derisively. "Don't believe her. She's so addicted that she doesn't even have her Slayer strength anymore."

"I..." Anne stared at the pair, trying to decide who was tell the truth. Buffy had saved her life twice, but that was a long time ago. Angel was a friend, who'd helped her a lot.

"He's lying, Anne!" Faith glared at Angel.

"Come on, Anne! She just got out of jail. Are you going to take her word over mine?"

"I...I'm sorry, Faith, but you know the rules. She'll have to leave."

"Fine!" Faith snarled, turning back to Angel. "I still won't let you take her! I'm gonna stop you."

Angel just grinned. "Is that so?"

She dropped into a fighting stance, all her muscles on edge as she prepared to take him down. Buffy watched with trepidation and a little amusement. As serious as everything was, she still thought it was ironic that, not long ago, she'd been fighting Faith to protect Angel. But now...

Surprising all of them, Angel just pulled out a cell-phone and dialed a few numbers. "Wolfram and Hart? Good. Can I speak to Lilah, please? Thanks."

"You've gotta be joking!"

"Oh, I'm definitely not joking." He covered the phone with one hand. "I'm sure they'd love to know that you were released..."

"Angel...please don't." Buffy begged.

"Well, Buff, Faith here isn't giving me much choice..."

Faith could see what he was doing. Buffy, even if she wasn't exactly a Slayer anymore, still couldn't let anyone else be sacrificed for her, and he knew it. "Buffy, don't do it! We'll fight him off, and I'll get you to Giles. Trust me."

Buffy struggled to control the tears that threatened to spill down her face. By the time Faith had fought Angel to a standstill even, Wolfram and Hart would be there, and they'd all lose. "I...Angel, if I go with you, will you promise to hang up and not call them again?"

He smiled maliciously. "I give you my word."

"Buffy, don't!"

"It's ok, Faith. They will need you in...you should help them in Sunnydale."

Angel thanked Anne and turned to leave, his hand still gripping Buffy's wrist. As he began to drag her out, she turned to Faith for one last moment. "Tell...tell Dawn not to worry, take care of her..." She didn't finish, Angel pulling her into his car and speeding away.

**_How could I explain?_**

**_You would not want to hear_**

**_You wouldn't listen if I talked anyway_**

**_For you were too weighed down by your own fears_**

As the car disappeared around the corner, Faith watched, tears quietly trickling down her cheeks. "I'll get you back, B." 

Just then, another car pulled up. It was Giles. Looking at the expression on Faith's face, he quietly bowed his head in defeat. He knew he was too late.

During the drive to the hotel, Buffy just stared out the window silently, while Angel ignored her. When they reached their destination, he yanked into the dark building, the only light coming from reception where Cordelia was sitting, reading a magazine. "Angel! Oh, God, where have you been? Are you ok? What happened...Buffy?" The seer stared in shock at the blonde girl. She was astonished by how beaten and weary Buffy's tear-streaked face looked.

"You can go, Cordelia."

Hearing the warning tone in Angel's voice, she decided to follow his orders and left the hotel, locking the doors behind her. "Good night."

"Let's get you upstairs." He held onto Buffy's hand firmly, almost breaking it, as he pulled her upstairs to his room. "Go clean up, Buff. You reek of Spike. Don't come out until you're properly cleaned up."

He left her in the bathroom, locking the door. With a sigh, she pulled off her clothes and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her skin was pale and sickly; her eyes were red and swollen. Even her usually perfect hair was stringy and oily. No wonder Anne had thought she was a drug addict.

She turned the water on and stepped into the shower. Leaning against the wall while the water pelted her, she began to sob as the hopelessness of her situation sank in. Angel, not far away, heard her cries, and his heart would have broken if it could, but he had no heart anymore.

When she finally finished, she hesitantly walked into the main bedroom, clothed in only a towel. "Drop the towel, lover." His voice was coldly furious, promising pain if she refused, but she couldn't make herself move. "Do it, or I'll do it. Either way, you will lose it."

She trembled in humiliation as she dropped the protection and stood naked, trying to cover herself with her hands. He sat, admiring her silken form, her soft skin...her amazing beauty...he pulled her gently onto the bed, where she lay, trembling in fear and trepidation. Grabbing iron handcuffs from the nearby table, he quickly tied her to the bedposts. She tried struggling, but found she was only hurting herself worse. "Stop that, Buffy, or I'll hurt you more."

She froze immediately, then closed her eyes in defeat, tears slipping past her lashes.

Now the fun begins! Angel grinned as he took his clothes off...

****

**_Look at the child with the dream in her eyes_**

**_Holding it deep inside..._**

**_Home...   Home...   Home...   Home..._**


	6. chapter 6

Author's note: see previous chapters

Reviews: Yes, Yes and again Yes. I'm addicted to reviews; I admit it!

Chapter 6

When Giles returned to the magic box with Faith, it was almost morning, the sun about to peek over the horizon. They'd spent most of the drive in silence, each stuck in their own thoughts. Finally, Giles couldn't stand the tension, so he turned to Faith. To his surprise, she looked sad and beaten, almost as if she really cared about Buffy. Maybe she did care...after all, she had been ready to fight Angel to save her. He sighed. She probably blamed herself. "You know it wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't yours either." She answered flatly.

"Touchée..." He smiled wryly.

When she smiled back, he looked closer at her. This Faith was different somehow...older, more responsible...less bitter. "So..." She hesitated, looking for the right words. "What are we gonna do?"

"I...I really don't know, Faith. I suppose we will have to research for quite some time. It's good you are with us, though. We need a Slayer here. The Scoobies will appreciate that."

"Not me."

Giles sighed, "Look, Faith, I won't lie to you: It won't be easy. After the things you did to them...but they will forgive you eventually. If they forgave Angel for being Angelus, they are bound to forgive you as well."

"Angel had a very good reason. I didn't."

"I am quite aware of that, Faith, but you will just have to give them some time. You'll be surprised to see how understanding they can be. Living on the Hellmouth does that to people."

She nodded, glancing down. "She will be ok, Giles."

Giles didn't answer, just stared ahead of him. How many times had he told himself that before? He knew she was helpless without her Slayer strength...but discouraging Faith was definitely a bad idea. He needed a strong Slayer to help while he researched to save his Slayer...his daughter. In every way except blood, she really was his daughter.

Arriving at the Magic Box, he quickly parked and headed inside with Faith. He could see Anya sitting nervously at the register, counting her money, while Xander stood next to her, idly examining the Dazerra demon's dagger.

Willow was nearby, all her attention focused on her laptop as she desperately searched for a way to return Buffy to her former strength. Startled by the bell on the door, they all looked up to see Giles and Faith enter. Willow quickly rushed to them, panicking when she realized Buffy wasn't there. "Giles...where's Buffy? Did you leave her at home with Dawn?"

"No Willow, she..." He stopped, anger and hopelessness choking him.

Faith continued. "She...by the time Giles arrived, Angel was there. We didn't stand a chance."

"Right!" Xander snarled. "I am so sure you did your best to help your best FRIEND Buffy!!!"

Faith stepped back. "I did my best. He was smarter."

"I guess that's why she's the better Slayer!"

"Xander!" Giles interrupted the furious boy. "Please stop it, all of you. It's just as much my fault as it is Faith's, if you want to blame someone. Angel manipulated the situation. He threatened to give Faith to the very law firm that Angel Investigations is trying to stop."

"And that's bad because..."

Giles wearily removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Well, Xander, that is bad and pointless because we would lose two slayers: Buffy is with Angel and Faith...anyway, we need her."

Willow was the one to speak up this time. "Why do we need her, Giles? So she can betray us again?"

"I..." Faith bit her lip, trying to convince them. "I wouldn't do that, Willow. I've changed. I did a lot of thinking in jail, and I know I made a lot of mistakes. But I really have changed. You can trust me."

Willow snorted quietly. "Why should we trust you?"

"Because Buffy trusted me."

Anya broke in. "Ah...just for the record, Buffy is not my friend, so I don't have to trust you."

"Fine." Faith answered coldly. "But you will need me. I'm the only Slayer you've got."

Before the argument could get any nastier, a flaming blanket covering someone burst into the room, followed quickly by Dawn. As the blanket was tossed aside, a familiar blond vampire appeared. "Good you're all here!"

Before Spike could continue, Tara came running in. "Guys, Dawn is missing, I can't..." She trailed off, seeing Dawn. "Oh, God, Dawn, where have you been!?"

Dawn winced. "Sorry."

Spike growled slightly, and everyone's attention whipped back to him.

Xander sneered. "You are so not welcome here."

The vampire's eyes flashed yellow. "Don't start on me, Harris! What the hell happened to Buffy? I found Lil Bit at my crypt, crying her eyes out. Is it true? Did my pathetic excuse for a Sire kidnap her?"

They hesitated, not quite sure what to say. 

To be continued...

Please please reviews…I've got to get 'em.


	7. chapter 7A8

  
  


Author's note: Chapter 7 is missing (sorry it was totally NC 17) you can find it at Brytanica site.

 The song "Wish you were here" by Wyclef Jean

Chapter 7 a

Spike faced some truths when he entered the Magic Box. First: he wasn't welcome there at all. Second: Buffy wasn't there to stand up for him as a friend...or a lover, for that matter. Third: Dawn...Dawn was all alone now. Yeah, she had the Scoobies, plus Giles and some brunette he didn't really recognize, but none of them could compare to Buffy. _His _girls needed him, and it was about time to show all the stuck-ups here who was in charge now. He'd be damned if he'd let anyone here make him feel like he was less than he really was. When no one answered his question, he began to get really angry. "Do any of you wankers wanna to tell me what the hell happened to Buffy?"

They stayed silent. Giles was still too upset to really talk about what had happened, Willow and Xander looked ready to kill Spike, Tara didn't know anything, Anya just watched curiously, and Faith took a step back, observing the confrontation with interest.

"Well!?" shouted Spike, "Are you all mutes suddenly or what?"

Xander approached, a little cautiously. At first, he'd wondered if Spike had helped Angel with his devious plot, but now he was sure that wasn't it. "You have no right being here, Dead Boy Two. It's all your fault, you know."

"What? What is my fault and why is it my fault!?" He snarled, frustrated.

"Because of what happened with you and Buffy, Angel went insane or something and kidnapped her!" 

Spike didn't need to breath, but he took a deep breath anyway as he stepped closer to Xander. "Listen to me, boy, and listen well! Angel was angry about me and Buffy, but it wasn't the reason why he took her. If that's how brillant the lot of you are, she's better off dead because you sure as hell can't rescue her!"

"No!" Willow stepped in front of him, seething. "How...God Spike, how can you even say that? Especially around Dawn! What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong! Buffy's with Peaches, probably miserably thinking about all of you, and all you can say is: 'Angel took Buffy because she was with Spike!' C'mon, Red! You're the smartest here. Do you honestly believe that Angel turned into Angelus just because of that? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that it was the ONLY fucking REASON?"

Willow frowned, realizing he was probably right. All her self-righteous reasons suddenly seemed stupid. It wasn't really important who Buffy had been sleeping with. Besides, she was sleeping with a woman, and her best friend's honey was an ex-demon. Trying to help Buffy was way more important than condeming Spike. As Willow considered this, Xander was seething. How dare that vampire speak to Willow that way? "You're wrong, Spike. Maybe that wasn't the only reason why Angel took Buffy, but your little affair certainly didn't help things! You're always making more problems for her. In fact, you are just a problem!"

"Right." Dawn snorted.

Xander turned, a slightly confused look on his face. "Dawnster...did you want to say something?"

Dawn shrugged. "I...I just think that Spike is...well, right. I don't think that it was the only reason why Angel took...took Buffy."

Xander gave her a sympathetic look. "I know, Dawnie, but, like I said, he's always a problem."

"No!" She was becoming angry now. "You were always a problem, Xander, and no one dumped you before! Remember the mummy girl and the hyena thing? What about the swim team or Dracula or the bug teacher?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Um...ok, Dawn. I think we get it..."

"Not me!" Anya looked interested. "Please tell me about the mummy girl. Did they have sex?"

"Anya!" Willow snapped before taking a deep, calming breath. "Look, guys, both of you are right. The whole Spike/Buffy thing did make Angel angrier, we all know that, but it doesn't change the fact that it was Buffy's decision, not ours. She's a grown up now, and we can't judge her by our teenage standards. We're not in high school anymore, and none of us is exactly Sister Theresa. As for Spike being a problem, he helped us during the summer after Buffy...died. He didn't have to do it, and he didn't even know she'd come back. Why don't we just put this behind us and try to work together, all of us, to get Buffy back. We can all help with research. We need Buffy back, and I'll be damned if I'll stop looking for a way to get her!"

Anya grinned and clapped, making everyone give her a weird look, "What? It was a very well-done speech."

Giles smiled for second. "Yes, Anya, that was a very well-done speech, and I think that Willow is right. We should work together in order to get Buffy back. Each of us can help. We beat a hell god; we can beat this. We all want Buffy back, and working together our only real chance to do that."

Xander and Spike looked suspiciously at each other, but they both knew he was right. If they were going to get her back, they need to put their petty arguments aside. They had to get her back. Spike finally spoke, slowly and deliberately. "I would do the same for any of you, y'know. I'm not asking you to approve of my relationship with Buffy. I'm just asking you to help me get her back. I'd try, no matter what, but with all of us working as a team, our chances for success go way up."

Xander was stunned for a second. Spike sounded so...determind. Almost like...a man in love trying to save his beloved. Thinking about it, he realized that Willow was probably right. Buffy was a grown-up, and she had the right to do what she wanted. He needed her back, though, and he was willing to accept almost anyone's help. He sighed. "I'm in." 

"Right." Willow took charge of the impromtu meeting. "Don't forget, you'll have to save each other's butts."

"Fine." Spike mumbled, and Xander nodded reluctently.

Anya spoke up again. "I...I still want to know about the mummy girl." There was a collective sigh of frustration. "What? It sounds like a very interesting story, and I want to know..."

Xander pulled her close, whispering something in her ear that made her shut up. Dawn glanced at the happy couple. "I'm glad that you've all worked out your little problems."

Tara put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It'll be ok, Dawn. We'll get her back."

Faith finally spoke up, coming out of her corner. "Yeah, Dawnie. We'll get her back."

"Don't call me Dawnie!" She snarled. "What is SHE doing here?"

Giles sighed. He could see that there would be trouble, but it was time for Faith to take a stand on her own. Spike took a good look at the brunette. She was tall and slim, giving off a very dangerous feel. "Who's this?"

"She's Faith!" Dawn spat, as if cursing. Faith flinched, but didn't back away.

"The other slayer? I thought she was in jail..."

"Actually," Giles jumped in, trying to rescue the situation. "Faith is here to help us, Dawn. That brings me to the story of..."

"I don't want her here!" she growled, still angry. She looked to Spike for support, but he just shrugged, not knowing much of anything about this girl. "Fine. I don't care about her. I...I just don't want her here. She's probably helping Angel!"

"Dawn!" Giles looked disapproving. "I can assure you that's not the case. Faith did her time in jail. We need a Slayer here, and she's willing to help us. We're going to have to accept her. ALL of us. We don't have any time to waste. Buffy needs us, and people needs protection here."

"I hate you all!" Dawn snarled, then ran out the back door.

"Dawn!" Spike called after her, then started to follow.

Faith stepped in his way. "Let me." He took a good look at her, then nodded slowly.

She jogged after the angry teenager, and he turned back to the gang. "There's something you all should know, by the way."

"What is it, Spike?" Giles looked interested.

"It's about Dawn. She stays with me. I don't care if it's at her house or my crypt, but she's staying with me. I guess her house would be best."

"I can't agree to that." Giles began to clean his glasses. "She should be under my responsibility, and you are...well...a vampire."

"Oh, I hadn't noticed. Of course I'm a vampire! But I can take care of her."

"She should have a responsible adult looking after her."

"I'm responsible. I didn't say I was looking for approval for this plan. Dawn is my family, and I'm hers. Willow and Tara are staying at her house, Faith can come along, and then we'll all be a happy family."

Willow sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly. She couldn't decide which was worse: living with Spike or living with Faith. Oh, wait, the worst would be living with both of them! Tara spoke up hesitantly, "I...I think it could work. Willow and I are staying in Joyce's room, and Dawn is staying in her room. Faith could take Buffy's room, and Spike could sleep on the couch. We'd have to ask Dawn though...considering how she reacted Faith, I don't know..."

"Well," Anya barged in, "I think it's a wonderful idea, Spike! It's like a big happy orgy."

"Ew!" Xander looked like he was about to be sick. "I so did not need that image!"

Spike looked sick himself. "Same here, mate. That's an image that'll stick with me for the rest of my unlife."

Tara spoke up again, "I think it could work, guys. Dawn is very vulnerable and could use all of us. While Faith is on patrol, Spike can stay with her. After all, most of the time she's running away to see him. With Buffy not being here, she'd be even more likely to run."

"Well..." Willow was still not completely convinced. "We could try it. As long as Faith doesn't try to kill us, and Spike behaves...oh, and as long as Faith and Dawn agree to it."

When Faith followed Dawn outside, she found her sitting on a bench, not far from her house. She seemed to be crying quietly, and Faith hesitantly approach. "Hey." she almost whispered.

"What do you want?"

"I...I wanted to know if you're ok..."

"Well, I'm not ok! I don't want YOU here!!!"

"I understand, and I've got a deal for you: hear me out. If you still don't want me here, then I'll go. You'll never have to see me again."

"You promise?"

"Yes."

"Fine." She folded her arms and waited for the speech.

"When I was your age, I had a best friend. Her name was Linna. We were such good friends...we used to hang out together and spend all our time together. We were like sisters. She came from a lousy family like mine. Her father was in jail and her mother was...well, never mind. Anyway, one day, she didn't come to school. I went to her house to see what had happened. I thought she was sick or something. It turned out that her father had been released from jail on parole, or something, and her parents started fighting. I tried to interfere, but she begged of me not to. I kept trying, so she sent me home, screaming at me that I wasn't her friend...that we were never friends. I screamed back at her that I hated her, too. I went home, crying my eyes out, and never looked back. That was the last time I saw her."

"What...what happened to her?"

Faith wiped away a tear that had slipped out. "I found later that her father had been really, really drunk and had a gun. Because she didn't let me in, she probably saved my life. You see, he held the house hostage, and when the police didn't give him what he wanted, he shot his family. He shot Linna and her mother. If I'd been there..."

"I'm sorry..." Dawn looked down. "I...I think that Buffy would be mad at me if I was...well nice to you."

"No, Dawn, that's not true. Buffy came to me."

"What?" Dawn looked back up at Faith "When? Why? What did she say?"

"We didn't had much time. I found her in a pub in LA, and took her to a friend...well, I thought she was a friend. We talked for a while, and then Angel found us. I tried to save her but...I couldn't. He was going to call this law firm that would have come and killed me, and then I wouldn't have been able to do a thing for her or anyone else. That's why I wanted to tell you that story. I'm not going to give in again. I'm going to stay in for the whole ride. I promised Buffy I'd take care of you, and I'm going to."

"I...I'm sorry, Faith. I know that you changed, and did your time in jail but...I...I wish Buffy were here. She should be here with me! It's not fair! She's always being taken away from me. I don't want to be alone. I miss Buffy..." She burst into tears again. "The bench we're sitting on...Buffy got it because she said that Spike is spending so much time here that she might as well get him a place to sit..."

Faith held her, rocking her back and forth, as she cried, too. Cried for Buffy, for Lianna, for someone she thought she could trust. An hour later, they finally returned to the store. Everyone there expected the two of them to be ready to kill each other, but they seemed surprisingly peaceful. Tara told them what Spike had proposed, and they easily agreed.

Spike glanced at the clock. "Hey, Nibblet, if you're going to go to your friend's house to do your homework, you'd better get moving."

Dawn sighed and grabbed her bag, heading out the door with Tara, who had volunteered to take her.

Once they'd left, Willow turned to Giles. "What plans do you have?"

"I...I don't know about a plan, but I know a few things we should do now. Willow, please call Cordelia and Wesley. Try to find out what's going on, but make sure to avoid any contact with Angel. We don't know what he told them. When Tara returns, she can help research the spell and look for counter-spells. Faith and Spike, you two should patrol tonight. Try to get to know each other better, considering you'll be working together for an indefinite amount of time. Anya, check with your demon friends to see if they can help."

"Yay, me! I'm helping!" She seemed quite happy to have something to do. "But only after working hours. Money is important, and Buffy won't be back for a while..."

"Anya!"

"What? That's true! Right, honey?"

Xander smiled apologetically. "Yes, dear, but do you remember that thing we talked about called tact?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, why don't you practice it?"

"Oh. But I still like money."

He sighed, defeated. "I'd better get to my job. Giles, if you need me for anything..."

"Of course, Xander. I'll let you know. Go on."

Nodding again, he quickly left. Faith grabbed her stuff and headed over to Revello Drive with Willow to settle in. Spike stayed till dark, talking with Giles about some important details. When he made it back to his crypt, he stumbled over something small on the floor. Bending down, he found one of Buffy's shoes. He remembered when she'd lost it. They had a bout of their usual wild sex, and she couldn't find her shoe. They laughed so much about that...

****

**_So you think you can tell _**

**_heaven from hell,_**

**_blue skies from pain._**

**_Can you tell a green field_**

**_from a cold steel rail?_**

**_a smile from a veil?_**

Picking up the shoe, he held it close and went further into the gloom of his home. Near the bed, he found one of the hankerchiefs she used to pull her hair back. He brought it close to his face. Her smell wafted up to him, and tears came to his ocean-blue eyes. He could hear Buffy laughing, like bells tinkling in the wind. 

****

**_Do you think you can tell?_**

**_Did they get you to trade_**

**_your heroes for ghosts?_**

**_Hot ashes for trees?_**

**_Hot air for a cool breeze?_**

**_Cold comfort for a change?_**

He knew what Angel is doing to her...he could feel it. He could feel her aching, screaming for him. Her pain cut through his body, piercing his heart.

****

**_Did you exchange_**

**_a walk on part in the war_**

**_for a lead role in the cage?_**

He knew all the sexual tortures Angel would inflict on Buffy, and suddenly he felt overwhelmingly afraid and lonely. What if he never heard her laughter again?

He held the small tokens of her closer and began to sob.

Buffy...

**_How i wish, how i wish you were here._**

**_We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish-bowl,_**

**_year after year_**

**_running over the same old ground._**

**_What have you found?_**

**_The same old fears._**

**_Wish you were here…_**

****

To be continued...

Please review!


	8. chapter 8

Fred- does not exist in this fic, sorry but I can't deal with her yet, maybe later.

Warning: this chapter contains mention of rape and abuse. This is Angel, not in his nice moments. If you want smut Angel 

you won't find it here, for now (yes, I know, evil me. But there are plenty of fluffy Angel fics out there)

Chapter 8-

Angel woke to the sound of Buffy's hearbeat. He tenderly brushed her face with his thumb, only now allowing himself to be 

gentle, to feel her smooth, vanilla-scented skin. He watched her as she slept, her body relaxed. Her hair curcled around her 

head in waves of gold and honey. Under her eyes, he saw bluish circles, no doubt due to lack of sleep and the the events of 

the last few days. Her wounds were healing, thanks to her new immortality. His soul ached at having to hurt her, but his

demon reminded her of his duties as a mate. She needed to know the rules. She needed to know that she couldn't just run

around doing what she pleased.

He sighed heavily, knowing that he need to leave her warm body and go to his business. As he moved away, her face wrinkled slightly, unconciously upset at his abscence. He smiled at that. In her dreams, he supposed he was still her Angel. Once she woke up, she'd naturally revert to her pattern of childish anger and pride. However, she'd acknowledge her feelings for him soon enough. If his wife only looked beyond her anger and his treatment of her, she would be able to see that he loved her still, and that she loved him. He needed to break her in order to rebuild her to his needs...to their needs. There was so much he needed to show her, tell her. He would, later on. Right now, he needed to greet a certain demon.

Pulling on a gray shirt and black pants, he headed for the door. Glancing one last time at his mate, he slipped out of the room and headed downstairs. He needed to get this over with before the others arrived. It was almost nine, and if that demon wasn't here on time...suddenly he felt his presence. He opened the back door slightly, letting the demon enter. He looked almost human, if you ignored the red and black eyes and the tail, obviously hidden in his pants. "Good morning, Angel."

Angel pulled him inside, nervously. "We don't have much time, Golfer. I got everything you asked for. Let's get it done with before my wife wakes up."

"Sure thing, Angel. I'll need a locke of her hair...right, thanks, and something that belongs to her...good, a hairpin will do nicely..."

Half an hour later, Cordelia and Gunn burst into the office, arguing about something. Angel ignored them, still studying some files he'd grabbed.

"C'mon, Cordy! It's a chick flick."

"No way, Gunn. You just don't want to admit that you liked the movie! Besides, Nicholle Kidman did the right thing, leaving Tom."

"Actually I think that he dumped her, right, Angel?"

Angel glanced up from his files. "I really don't know. Besides, we've got more important things to think about."

Gunn nodded, but Cordelia snorted lightly. "Right. You just don't want to admit I'm right. Fine, whatever." She made her way over to her computer in a huff, but, when Gunn left to get some more books, she turned back to Angel. "Hey, Angel...What's the deal with Buffy? Is she ok? Is she still here?"

He could see how concerned she was, so he decided to reassure her. "She's fine, Cordy. We had an argument and...well, she didn't take it so well. Actually, she's sleeping right now."

Cordelia grinned. "You really didn't waste any time testing that soul-binding spell!"

"No, I didn't...not that it's any of your business!" he snapped, although he quickly lightened his tone when he saw the odd look she was giving him. "Just don't talk about it with Buffy...and please don't tell her when or how I bound the soul, ok?"

Cordelia thought this was an odd request, but decided to comply. He hadn't asked; he'd demanded. Besides, maybe that had something to do with their fight. She was just glad that Buffy was here. She still didn't think of Buffy as a friend, but maybe she'd bring out the good side of Angel. She always had.

"Oh, and Cordy, Buffy will be living here from now on. I hope you two will get along."

"What!?" This really surprised her. "Not that she's not welcome here or anything, but what about Sunnyhell? Dawn? Her Slayer duties? I can't believe that she would leave everything...I mean...it's not like her."

"Well, Cordy, I don't mean to be rude, but last time I check, you weren't best friends. Maybe she's changed."

"Ok, maybe we are not the BEST of friends, but still I don't think..."

Angel was pissed of by now, "Look, Cordy, Faith was released from jail, and she's helping Giles out. Buffy decided to come live with me. It's not like she'll never see her friends again."

"Ok, whatever. I am so done trying to understand the two of you."

"Who?" Gunn asked, reentering the room.

"Buffy."

"Whoa, Buffy? As in, Slayer Buffy?"

Angel was beginning to lose his patience. "Look: Buffy is my mate. She's going to be living here. Don't make me lose my temper!"

They knew he wouldn't hurt them, but a cranky Angel wasn't a good thing. "Fine, man." Gunn said, trying to calm him. "Buffy's welcome here anytime. Wesley's waiting for us in the city library. We have to be there in half an hour."

"Ok, let's go. Actually, you know what, you go on out. I'll be there in a minute."

Gunn paused, looking at the vampire for a second, before agreeing, "Fine, then. Outside."

When he closed the door, Angel turned to Cordelia. "Ah...look, Cordy, I wasn't totally honest with you. Something did happen to Buffy. Harmony came to me a few days ago and told me about this demon in Sunnydale. Apparently this demon took away her Slayer powers..."

"Oh, my god!" Cordelia gasped, shocked. "Oh, my god...Angel, will she be all right?"

He faked a look of concern "I hope so...she's quite upset since she lost her powers. I'll be back as soon as I can...oh, and if someone from Sunnydale calls, don't talk to them. I don't know if the demon is still there."

"Yes, of course. No problem."

As he headed for the door, she called him back for a second."I think you did a good thing taking her away from the...dangers and looking after her. She's very lucky to have you as a friend."

He smiled slightly, happy to have convinced her. "Yeah...I hope she feels the same."

He closed the door quietly behind him as he left.

*

Buffy woke to the sound of pop music. What the hell? The events of last night slowly came back to her...Faith trying to help her...Giles on his way...Anne accusing her of selling drugs...Angel finding her...bringing her to the Haypirion hotel...Angel whipping her...raping her...her screams...the agony...the pain. She tried to get up but wavered on her feet and quickly sat down. Taking a deep breath, she tried again and managed to stay upright.

She made a quick search of the bedroom, but Angel wasn't there, fortunately. Going to the bathroom, she cleaned herself up then took a good look at herself in the mirror. She was pathetic looking. It was time to take control of her life again. Angel wasn't about to let her go, but she wasn't in any immediate danger. She'd have to try to contact Giles.

Wrapping a fluffy towel around her slim form, she stepped outside the bathroom. Now she needed clothes. Her clothes were nowhere in sight, so she grabbed one of Angel's silken shirts. Pulling it on, she discovered that it fell past her knees. Oh, well, at least Angel would be furious about her wearing his clothes. She pulled her hair back in a ponytail and tried to open the door. To her surprise, it wasn't even locked.

She frowned slightly, but decided not to question good fortune. As she went downstairs, the pop music grew louder. She found Cordelia cheerfully dancing and singing along. The singing was pretty bad, but she looked to be having fun. Last night, she didn't have much time to observe Cordelia, but now she could see how changed she really was. For starters, her hair was stylishly short and made her look quite mature. Even though she was dancing to a silly pop tune, she looked older. Her body wasn't a teenager's body anymore. It was a woman's body. A sexy, curvy woman, no less. And Angel saw her everyday. She grew jealous for a second, before remembering that Angel wasn't the same anymore. Then she started to get angry. Why hadn't she been warned about his change? She might have been able to stop him. Maybe she could still do something. She decided to talk to Cordelia to find out what had actually happened.

Cordelia kept movie around to the music, oblivious to the fact that she had an audiance. "I can't get you out of my mind...boy your love is all I think about, I…"

Buffy grinned. Kylie Minogue never sounded so hilarious before. She giggled slightly, and Cordelia jumped, spinning around.

"Oh, Buffy! Oh, my god...don't sneak up on people like that!"

"Hello to you to, Cordelia."

Cordelia took a good look at the Slayer...er, former Slayer. She looked thinner than when she'd last seen her...way thinner. Her hair was now much longer, although it had stayed the same golden color. As the sun coming through the windows danced over her, she seemed to glow. But her eyes looked different...defeated. Maybe it came from the whole'losing the slayer strength thingy' or something. "So, Buffy, I understand you're here to stay."

"Stay...what do you mean, stay?"

Cordelia frowned slightly. "Stay, as in LIVE here?"

"I know the word. Where...where's Angel?"

"Miss him already? He had to go with Gunn to meet Wesley. How...how are you?"

Buffy suddenly realized that there might be no Angel, no guards, no demons to keep her here. "Are...are we alone? I mean, it's just you and me?"

"What did you expect, a parade? A delegation? Of course we're alone...but not alone as in not having clients, cause actually there are plenty, and it's just that..." Cordelia went on blabbing about the business and the satisfied customers, while Buffy's mind was working overtime. There weren't any guards, she could just walk out of here. She could call a taxi from here and go home before Angel got back. She went to the front door and opened it very slowly, expecting alarms, demons jumping on her, anything. Nothing...She breathed in relief. She took a deep breath and prepared to step forward.

Her logic sense was telling her that there was a trap, that Angel wouldn't leave things like that, that he wasn't stupid. The bedroom door was unlocked, she was all alone with Cordelia, and now the front door opened easily. She opened the door even wider, and the morning sun greeted her. Everything seemed so normal in daylight. People walking by, a kid trying to ride his new bike, an old lady smiling at her. Surely Angel wouldn't try anything here in broad daylight. She gathered up her courage and stepped forward.

The minute her right leg crossed the threshhold, she felt an unseeing wall bouncing her back into the lobby of the hotel. She tried again, more forcefully this time, only to find herself pushing on unseen wall. "Cordelia!"

Cordelia rushed to her side. "What? God Buffy, you scared the shit out of me. What? Did you see something outside? Well?" 

Buffy looked at her, horrified. "Something's wrong. I...I can't step out of this door."

She looked back, confused, then stepped outside. "Um, Buffy, there's nothing wrong here. Why don't you try to step outside?Come on, Buffy..."

Buffy stepped forward, only to stumble into an invisible wall again. She kept trying but didn't get any farther. Cordelia frowned. Could this be a side-effect of whatever the demon did to her? Buffy was mumbling, tears springing to her eyes. She turned away from the barrier and went deeper into the lobby, Cordelia close behind. "Buffy?"

She just kept mumbling. "He...he locked me...the bastard...I can't get out...I'm trapped in here because of him!" She looked at Cordelia, desperation in her gaze.

Cordelia brought her a glass of water and helped her sit down. "Buffy, what's wrong? Who did this? Is it the demon Angel told me about?"

Buffy sobbed, trying to understand what Cordelia was telling her...something about Angel?

"Buffy, Buffy do you hear me? Buffy?"

She glared at her. "What...what did Angel tell you?"

"Angel just told me that some demon in Sunnydale who took your slayer powers, and that you didn't take it so well. You know Angel, never the type of guy to share information."

"No! He...he's lying..." She trailed off for a second, shaking with utter frustration. "It's...that's not what happened!"

"What do you mean lying? Come on, this is Angel, the good guy that..."

"You don't understand!!" She burst into tears. "He changed...God, Cordelia, don't tell me you didn't notice. Even you're not THAT oblivious!"

Cordelia almost snapped back at her, but instead took a deep breath. "Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you, but this is Angel! Sure he's changed. He's crankier then ever, and kinda spooky, but he still helps the helpless..."

"HE...RAPED...ME!" Buffy shouted the words out, letting the pain wash her over. Her body shook with sobs. She said it...she said those horrible words.

Cordelia froze. Rape...Angel? Their Angel? Some mistake...but, no. Taking a good look at Buffy, she knew. She remembered her friend in Junior High, Silla, who was raped and came to Cordy, her best friend, for help. This wasn't a mistake. Buffy was raped. Oh God! She gently put a hand on her shoulder. The former Slayer looked grateful, but broken...this was the greatest Slayer ever? Cordy shuddered. "Please...tell me everything."

"I...I don't know if I can..."

"It's ok, Buffy, take your time. I'm here for you."

Buffy considered it for a second. She was all alone, maybe that was her only chance. "O-ok..Angel came to Sunnydale...He...he was mad...found out about me and Spike...sleeping together, but...but it was because we got close, and I liked being with him, and Angel..." She couldn't hold back her tears.

"It's ok, Buffy, I won't judge you. Go on..."

"He...he brought some demon with him...he did a spell that took my powers, made me immortal, and bound me to Angel by blood...forever...then he brought me here...he wouldn't listen...I tried to talk to him, explain that I can't just go with him...he was so cruel...wouldn't listen. When we arrived here, I managed to escape and find Faith...she brought me to her friend, Anne, but Angel found me there...F-faith...she tried to help but he threatened to call this damn law firm..."

"Wolfram and Hart?"

"Yeah, I think that's right...so I went with him...you saw us last night...he took me to his room and then he...he..." Memories flashed in front of her...Angel forcing his way inside her...the pain...the pleasure...the screams...Buffy covered her face with her hands, crying in agony and pain as Cordy held her close, crying as well.

"Buffy...I...is there something I can do?"

"I...yes. Please, call Giles. I need to talk to him...please..."

"Of course..." Cordelia quickly dialed the number, then handed the phone to Buffy.

"Giles..."

The answering machine came on. "Hello, you have reached the residence of Rupert Giles. Kindly leave a message, and I will get back to you. Thank you and have a lovely day."

"Giles...G-giles...I...please tell Dawn that I love her so much...tell everyone that I'm ok. Please find a solution to get..."

The phone was ripped away from her.

"What the hell...?" She spun around to face Angel, who was glaring coldly at her.

Cordy hadn't even noticed him coming in. Wes and Gunn stood by the door, looking puzzled. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Angel shouted.

"Angel..." Wesley tried to call him down.

"Shut up, Wesley." Angel snarled. "This is between me and Buffy. I will ask you again, WHAT...THE...HELL...WERE...YOU... DOING!?"

"I was calling Giles. You remember Giles? My watcher? My friend?"

"I know who he is Buffy, but I told you not to disobey me."

"Go to hell!"

Angel caught her roughly by the arm and pulled her to him.

"Angel!" Cordelia shouted. "What are you doing? You're hurting her."

"Stay out of it, Cordelia!" He turned to face the team. "All of you stay out of it...if you know what's good for you."

Gunn couldn't just watch and let him act this way. "Angel, calm down, man. You're definitely hurting her."

"She'll be fine!" he snapped.

"Fine?" Cordelia snarled. "As in 'being RAPED'?"

Wesley and Gunn looked shocked. The former watcher whispered, "Surely you are mistaken..."

"I am not!"

"Angel?" Gunn seemed repulsed. "Man, is that true?"

"She's my wife. I can do as I please."

"What?" Buffy turned to stare him in the eye. "What are you talking about? I NEVER married YOU!"

He laughed coldly. "You are so naïve Buff. Gosh, I guess I forgot that you're only twenty. Well, Buffy, I'll make it a short story for you...hell, you can all listen: I gave you the claddagh ring. To my people, that means marriage. Add on the fact that I marked you...yes, Buffy, while you tried to heal me from the poisonous arrow, I marked you as mine...add on our wonderful bounding..."

"Rape!"

"Yeah, whatever. Point is: you're mine."

"No, you're LYING!"

Angel chuckled, looking very much like Angelus. "Tell her, Wes. Tell her the truth."

"Angel...is right, Buffy. I am not saying if it's right or wrong, but in the demon's world you are his wife...forever."

"No...you know what? I don't care! I DON'T!"

"Tough shit, Buff." 

Cordelia glared at him. "How dare you! You low son of a..." Suddenly, her body began to shake, and her head exploded with pain and images.

Angel and Gunn grabbed her, holding her upright. Buffy watched in astonishment as she writhed in pain. She'd heard of the visions...but she couldn't imagine suffering so much agony for one single vision.

When the vision ended, Angel set Cordelia carefully on the couch and held her hand, caressing it gently. "Cordy...what did you see?"

She looked at him, terrified. "I...I saw you. You were fighting against some demon...I don't know what kind...he looked...demon-like...and...and Buffy...she..."

Angel didn't want to rush her, but he needed to know more. "What? What happened to her?"

She glanced at Buffy. "She died."

To be continued...

Please please review...


	9. chapter 9

Dedication: To the wonderful **Sigma** for beta this chapter (and hopefully the rest).

Chapter 10-

Faith and Spike left on patrol. The night was quiet and a soft breeze caressed their faces. They didn't break the silence with words, but merely fought whatever demons they came upon.

An hour later, Faith sighed heavily, trying desperately to get the blond vampire to say something...anything. Trying to make conversation wasn't exactly normal for her, but the tension, the fear, and disappointment, about someone that they had all considered a friend, upset even her. 

"This is probably how Buffy felt about me." she muttered bitterly, self-loathing evident in her voice.

Spike stopped and looked at her, a ray of moonlight flitting across her face. She seemed lost and very much alone. Although everyone had made high and noble-sounding speeches about becoming a unified force, they still treated both of them as outsiders. For him, it was less important as only Xander really resented him; the others had no real hatred for him. Besides, he was a soulless vampire. Why should he care what they thought of him? But, Faith was human. She was all alone, no friends and family to take care of her. In another time, he would have loved to see her suffering,  but now he pitied her.

"Say what, luv?" 

"I was thinking about Angel...about how he used to be good and all that, and now he's totally evil. I guess this is what Buffy felt when I…when I betrayed them."

"I guess."

"Thank for encouragement: no, you're wrong, Faith; they still care about you…"

"What do you want me to say?" he interrupted her. "Do you want me to tell you that you've changed? That the Scoobies will see you as a friend now? That you can be their lost slayer? Is that it?"

"No," she took a step back, "that's not what I meant! Hell, I couldn't ever replace Buffy. You know what, just forget about it."

She spun around, dusting a vampire who had tried to sneak up on her. As another two appeared, she began to fight.

Spike watched her, appreciating her fighting. Her moves were clean and well-executed; her tall, thin frame swung in destructive patterns.

But she wasn't Buffy. 

No matter how much he tried to forget it, she wasn't her. His Buffy moved gracefully...perfectly...deadly. She lived the fight; she was fire and life when she fought. Even when he had tried to kill her, years ago, he had noticed the moving fire, the amazing girl swirling around like a goddess.

Faith stood still, her hands folded, close to her chest. As a lock of her dark hair brushed her face, she flicked it away."You know what I'm thinking?"

Spike returned present with a jolt. "Why do you think I bloody care what _you_ think?" he smirked. She irritated him, for she was here while Buffy was out there, probably suffering.

"I'll tell you anyway. I think that you miss her...she told me about you. I think that you aren't forgiving yourself; you're blaming yourself for leaving her at the Magic Box when Angel preformed the spell. You think that maybe you could have fought him. You think you failed her..."

"...again." he completed her sentence.

She looked puzzled." What do you mean 'again' ?"

"When...when she died...I couldn't save her. But...in my dreams...I saved her...so many times."

Faith looked in amazement at the love shining from the vampire's face. She was jealous of Buffy...of all the love Buffy got from everybody. She wanted to run...to leave this constant reminder to her of how her life sucks...this reminder of all the wrong things she did...of all the family and friends she never really had. She felt like she had to leave...but she couldn't. She had promised Buffy to be here.

"She never blamed you," Faith sighed. Spike stared at her in shock, his blue eyes narrowing as they looked into her black ones." She told me…back in L.A...that she cared about you a lot. She considered you as a friend…as a member of the family."

Spike didn't say a word, not trusting his voice.

"I promised her..." continued Faith, "I promised her that I would take care of Dawn and...you. She wanted you to know that she didn't blame you for not sticking around. I second that, Spike. How could you know that Angel would do something like that?"

"I deserted her," he gritted through his teeth, his voice threatening to break.

"You didn't, Spike. She doesn't think so...no one does. But...I know why you are afraid." she hesitated, not sure if she should continue.

"Afraid?" he glared at her, "afraid? Bloody hell, you bet I am. Buffy's suffering at the hands of my Sire. God only knows what he is doing to her..."

"No," she interrupted, "I didn't mean that. I mean, I know that it isn't a great image, but I think that you're afraid that Buffy will never return to you because Angel will seduce her."

A single tear fell from his blue eyes, down to his beautiful, pale face. "I can't think about it, Faith, because if I do, then I DID LOST HER and I can't loose her...BLOODY HELL!!" he screamed, "You know...I'm bad...Angel and I--ignore the bullshit soul redemption--the things we did would chill even you...but Buffy--she's pure goodness. She should have been here with us...she doesn't belong to the dark. God knows how many times that I said she did, trying to lure her to the dark side...but, the truth is, she never truly believed me. What if Angel convinces her eventually? Every night I pray to God or whoever's up there that if they'll only bring Buffy back, I'll leave her alone. I won't try to lure her into the dark...I'll tell her I was wrong...now, it's too late...she'll never know".

Faith put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Spike. It should have been me...not her",

Spike just stared ahead, not seeing anything.

"C'mon," she took his arm, leading him to the direction of the Summers' house, "let's go home. I think we've patrolled enough for one night."

To be continued.


	10. chapter 10

Beta by : **Sigma**

Author's note: Because of the missing chapter (NC 17, chapter 7) I changed the numbers of the chapters so this is actually chapter 10 not 11)

Chapter 10-

Angel sank from hope into despair. All he could think was that it had to be his fault. Buffy must have died in the vision because he took her powers from her. But, as terrible as he felt, he would have done it all over again despite the consequences.

Everyone looked at him, their expressions varying. Wesley seemed to be considering all the repercussions of a Slayer's death, while Gunn seemed to just feel sorry for her. Cordelia stared at him, her dark eyes accusing him of making this happen, and her face showing her feelings of betrayal.

And than there was Buffy. Her eyes looked hunted, and he saw no forgiveness there. She had been willing to die since she was 15, but he had given her a reason to live, only to have her face almost certain death. What gave him the right to treat her like that?

A low growl escaped from his throat, but no one heard it. The demon inside him shoved aside the guilt of his soul. O_f course I have a right! She belongs to me whether she likes it or not; I won't change that or let her go. My duty is to take care of her, to protect her from all evil, even if I am the evil. I won't...can't...watch her die...ever._

"Angel?" Wesley's questioning tone returned him to current situation. 

Wesley must have asked him something. What had it been? With a slightly annoyed expression, Wesley repeated his question, "Who would possibly want to hurt Buffy?"

Buffy snorted, "You've gotta be joking, Wes. Who would want to hurt me? Hmm, let's think about that for a sec...nope, can't think of anything....except the fact that that I was a Slayer and made enemies of all sorts of evil things." She ended sarcastically.

Wesley frowned, confused. When she '_was_ a Slayer'? Glancing at Gunn, he saw his own puzzlement mirrored there. However, when he looked at Cordelia and Angel, he only saw them glaring at each other. 'What had happened?' he wondered.

"Tell them" ground out Cordelia, folding her arms.

Angel ignored her demand and instead merely asked,"What did you exactly did you see in your vision, Cordy?"

She just kept glaring at him. If he was going to refuse to tell everyone something so important, why should she tell them her vision?

"Look, Cordy, I know you're angry with me, and that's fine, but we're talking about saving other people's lives! Or did you forget that?"

As she drew in a sharp breath, her eyes seemed to be shooting daggers at him, "I didn't forget it, Angel! That was a low blow, even for you! All right, I'll tell you what I saw. I saw you fighting a demon in the daylight in some place I didn't recognize. It wasn't around here, though."

Wesley scratched his chin thoughtfully,"Could you tell us a little more about this demon? Did he have some kind of powers we've never seen before or was he extremely strong? A god of some kind, maybe?"

"No, Wes, he was just a demon, strong but nothing special. He looked kinda like those Guaould creatures from the Star Gate TV show...you know, the ones with the Egyptian costume and all".

"So he wasn't unique or extremely strong?"

"Nope, just an ordinary demon"

"I'm a bit confused here...Buffy," he turning to her with an expression so like one of Giles's that she almost cried, "I've heard about your fight with Glorificus, and, quite frankly, the entire Council is talking about you as the greatest Slayer ever walked the planet…the strongest Slayer in history. Do you know why you couldn't defeat what seems to be an ordinary demon? Cordelia, maybe…?"

"No" Cordelia answered quickly, "You should ask Mr. Caring here," She motioned sarcastically towards Angel, who glared back, his eyes cold and dark.

Buffy tried to say something, but only Gunn seemed to notice,"Buffy, you were saying something, girl?" 

Everyone quickly swiveled to look at the petite girl, who seemed a little uncomfortable being the center of attention."I…I was just thinking…that…well, Cordelia saw me die. What does that mean? Can you save me on time? Do..." she choked and took a breath to calm herself, "do you manage to save people from visions or is it always too late?"

"Of course -- not always -- it depends" Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn spoke at the same time, confusing Buffy even more.

"I won't let you die!" hissed Angel.

Buffy couldn't answer that. Her Angel she had trusted and had been willing to follow to hell and back. This Angel...she didn't trust him. Angel could see that reflected in her eyes and he quietly snarled. He would deal with that later.

Wesley cleared his throat as he cleaned his glasses, making Buffy wonder again if the Council taught that to all Watchers,"I'm sorry, Buffy, but I feel that maybe we should contact the Council..."

"NO!" shouted Buffy and Angel in unison.

Wesley merely lifted a brow in interest. He knew Buffy was hiding something from him...she had done that often enough in Sunnydale...and he was curious as to what it could be.

Buffy sighed. She didn't want Wesley to contact the Council...she was too ashamed with herself. And, of course, Travers would just say that it was her fault for sleeping with the enemy, that she was a disgrace. No, she couldn't let that happen. Besides, Angel would just spirit her away if they came to LA.

Angel knew what she was thinking, but he had his own reasons for not wanting the Council to be notified. First, of course, was the fact that they'd probably kill him. But, he also didn't trust them around Buffy. Who knew what they might do to a powerless Slayer.

"I don't understand!" Wesley snapped, his patience disintegrating,"I am strongly suggesting we get the Council's help! I know that you and Angel didn't get along with them, Buffy, but surely they can help us."

"I said NO!" Angel growled, anger flashing in his black eyes.

"All right, Angel. But, you're not telling me everything, are you? First, how did Buffy get here? She obviously doesn't want to be here, and she was talking in the past tense about being a Slayer. Also, I don't agree to the way you are treating her, Angel, and I'm positive that there is something more significant which you aren't telling us...something that involves Cordelia's vision!"

Buffy couldn't take anymore. Turning to Angel to spat,"I hate you!" before running upstairs and slamming her bedroom door.

"Great," sighed Cordelia, "one more door to fix. Angel," she said seriously, looking right at him, "Either you tell them now, or I'm out of here for good. Your decision".

Angel wasn't positive she'd really follow through on her threat, but he didn't want to find out. Breaking up Angel Investigations was never part of his plan. Besides, he needed Cordy for her visions, especially those about Buffy."All right," he said, his temper barely in check,"I'll tell them."

Cordelia sat, grabbing a glass of water, while Wesley and Gunn looked at him, hoping for answers to the mystery.

To be continued.

~Beth~


	11. chapter 11

Beta by **Sigma**

Chapter 11- 

Angel told them a very condensed version of what had happened, leaving out what had happened in his bedroom. After all, it wasn't their business.

Wesley looked ready to explode as he dropped his glass on the table, disappointment written across his face. Angel stared at him, not moving a muscle. Wesley started cleaning his glasses, "Even compared to all the horrible things you did as Angelus...this is so...I can't even tell you how terrible I think this is."

"Then don't!" snapped Angel, "You wanted to know what happened to Buffy, so I told you. Buffy is my wife...do you expect me to just forget about it? Would you?"

"That's hardly a fair comparison, Angel. I wouldn't forget I had a wife, but to kidnap her and...and...make her stay with me when she doesn't want to...it is just..." He couldn't seem to find the right word.

"Barbaric?" offered Cordelia.

"No...inhuman!"

"Well, I'm not human!" growled Angel. "I'm a demon. Better than some, but still a demon."

"A demon who cared about humans." muttered Gunn.

"I still care. What, do you think I'd hurt Buffy? I would NEVER..."

"You did!" accused Cordelia, "She told me you raped her!"

"I did no such thing."

"Oh, so Buffy's lying?" Cordelia snorted angrily.

"No, she's not. For you it might be rape. For us demons, it's different...it's dominance."

"Don't try to put that bullshit over me, Angel! Rape is rape, and you know it! Even if she dated you before, you do _NOT_ have a right to sleep with her whenever _YOU_ want to!!" Cordelia's voice rose to a shout.

"She's mine!" he roared back, "I have every right! It's time you realize that I am not a man. I am demon...a vampire! I drink blood, I don't have a reflection, I am immortal!"

The room was silent for a long moment. "Do you love her?" Gunn suddenly asked. It was a simple question, but full of irony so soon after they had heard what he did.

Cordelia snorted and Angel glared at her, warningly, "Of course, I love her! She's my mate...my wife. Do you think I would spend the rest of eternity with someone that I don't love?"

"Well," sighed Wesley, "we thought you loved her, Angel."

"I do!" he growled.

"Then why did you take her Slayer powers, leaving her defenseless to face eternity?"

"I had to take her powers in order for her to submit to me, you know that, Wesley! They teach it in that council of yours. And do you really think I'd let her die or age?"

"You should!" snapped Cordelia, "She's human, Angel, and you are dooming her to something that will ruin her."

"It won't," he insisted, "She's not a regular human, you know that." He sighed, wanting to get this over with so he could go to Buffy. "Look guys, I'm tired and...I need to speak to Buffy."

"How can you still sleep at night? Without her powers, she's going to die." Cordelia stared at him, defiantly.

"No! I will not let her die!" He shouted, then tried to calm himself, "Look, you saw her...die outside, but she's safe as long as she doesn't leave this hotel."

"Great plan, man." Gunn said sarcastically, "You kidnap the poor girl, force her into marriage, then make it so she cant leave...for how long?"

Before Angel could answer, Wesley spoke up, "You know it doesn't work that way, Angel. Cordelia's vision come true unless we do something to stop it. Just keeping her here won't help."

"Fine!" Angel lost his remaining patience. "We'll find this demon in the morning, although we have other clients to take care of. I am going to my wife. You can lock up behind you," he spun and headed for Buffy, but stopped and turned back for a second, "If any of you tries to 'help' Buffy or take her from me...you'll fail...and I won't just stop you. I'll have a little fun. Goodnight." He smiled coldly, climbing to stairs to go see his little wife.

It was about time to teach her some lessons. The first would be that she was never to leave his presence...

To be continued.

Please review!!!!!!


	12. chapter 12

Beta by: **Sigma**

Chapter 12-

"Are we just going to stand aside and let him do...whatever to her?" Cordelia's question seemed to hang in the air.

"What else could we do?" sighed Gunn as he leaned against the bar, tiredly.

"Well, we could...well...maybe a diversion! You could take Angel to investigate a case, while Wes and I get Buffy back to Sunnydale and then...hide her or something."

"No." said Wesley, tonelessly, playing with the olive in his martini.

"What?" Cordelia snapped, "You're gonna just let him do whatever he wants to her? We have to save Buffy. We have to…"

"We can't." he replied simply.

"Look, man," Gunn moved in his chair uncomfortably, "in my book, Angel is the bad guy, and we have to save the girl. Wife or not, we're in the twenty-first century, and we can't just ignore this."

"I am not saying we can just ignore it! I care for the girl...I was her watcher for God's sake! But, if we want to help her, we have do it very carefully. Our options are extremely limited for the time being."

"Right, Wes," Cordelia snorted, folding her arms impatiently, "and by the time we do act, it will be too late for Buffy. She could be dead by then!"

"You don't understand!" he sighed, "You said it yourself. She can't leave the hotel. Besides, if when Angel finds out about it, he'll probably just take her off to God knows where and we'll never see her again!"

"No." she denied, "He would never…" 

"Right." Gunn interrupted, sarcastically, "Because he never did that before. He never took off and disappeared for months, ignoring his friends. No, he'd never do that!"

"Fine" she sighed, "so what are you suggesting, Wes?"

"Well, first, we contact our friends in Sunnydale, without Angel knowing about it. But...we shouldn't tell them anything upsetting about Buffy." He glanced at Cordelia.

"What? I wouldn't do that!"

"And then what?" broke in Gunn, trying to stop the argument that was brewing.

"Then we'll try to find a spell that'll give Buffy her powers back or get rid of the spell that's keeping her in the hotel. We'll have to be very careful. We can't let Angel figure out what we're doing."

"Yeah, like we can fool him." snorted Cordy, turning to face them, "Angel gonna realize that we're planning something, especially if we're all are acting like 'hello, Angel and his lovely, eternal bride, welcome to our life!' "

Wesley and Gunn blinked, looking slightly puzzled.

"I'm just saying that we have to be careful how we act."

"Yes," Wesley nodded, "We'll have to show some objections to the new state of things...but we shouldn't push it too far."

"Do you think we should tell Buffy?" asked Cordelia.

"No," Wesley said, "that's not a good idea. If she accidently blurts it out, there goes the plan."

"C'mon Wes," Cordelia said, skeptically, "Buffy wouldn't say anything! It's her life we're trying to save."

"Angel has...ways of getting information." he replied, shuddering very slightly.

"Uh...right. I don't think I want any details."

"Look...let's just start getting everything together, and hopefully we'll get Buffy freed in time."

"Maybe you could try the Watcher's Council?" she asked hopefully.

"And...I'd tell them what, exactly?"

"I dunno...maybe something like 'Buffy, your Slayer, the girl who's been working for you and saving the world for the last 5 years or so, is in trouble and needs your help' ?"

"Right. They'll listen to me. After all, all I did was betray them on several occasions, start working with a vampire they hate, and totally cut myself off from them. Or have you forgotten all that?"

"No, I didn't forget. But isn't Giles still working for them? Why don't you get him to try."

"Like I said, I'm calling him tomorrow. However, I'm not so sure that the Council won't be happy to have her off their hands."

"What? Why?"

"Because she stands for everything they hate. She willingly slept with two vampires, one soulless, and attacked people they supported!"

"Ok...so they're not exactly happy about her, but I'm sure even you have some friends you can pull strings with."

"Thank you, Cordelia, for your faith in me." Wes looked offended, "For your information, I was quite popular among the young Council members, and each year, at the Watcher's camp, I…"

"Wes," Gunn interrupted, "we got the idea, man. Now what about helping Buffy?"

"I...well, I supposed I could try Peter, a friend of mine. I'll give him a call tomorrow."

"Right. Tomorrow then." nodded Cordy, "Do you think Buffy will be ok...all alone with him?"

Wesley just looked down, silent. The required reading for the Council had included quite a lot about Angelus...and none of it was reassuring. Some of things he'd done...

"It's our fault!" Cordelia's voice broke,"I mean...we didn't kidnap her, but we're partly responsible for Angel. Don't look at me like that. Think about it for a second. When he disappeared and returned months later, we should have asked him to leave. But, nooo, we had to accept him, despite how much he'd changed."

"He didn't give us any reason to question our decision, until now!" pointed out Wesley.

"Yeah, but we should have told Buffy something." she insisted.

"Tell her what, exactly? That Angel was going mad? That he was giving into his dark side?"

"Maybe!" she snarled angrily, "Maybe she could have saved him! God knows she always tried!"

"At the time, she was a little too busy fighting a hell goddess and trying to keep all her friends from dying. Angel has his own life here."

"He's right, Cordy." Gunn said quietly.

"Y'know, it's so great that we can just brush off our responsibilities like that. Buffy wouldn't ever have left him go down to where he is. She would have..."

"But we couldn't have saved HER!" shouted Wesley, tired of Cordelia's accusations and of trying to deal with what Angel now was.

Cordelia flinched and turned away. Wes glanced at the floor, before rubbing his brow tiredly,"I'm sorry for snapping at you for that. But consider this if we hadn't taken him back, he would still have found out about her and Spike. He'd still have taken her away. The only difference? We wouldn't have known about it. We wouldn't have been able to do a bloody thing to stop it!"

Cordelia nodded, sighing,"I know, I know. I...I just wish that things could be like they were before. Before Wolfram and Hart. Before Angel went all dark. I just wish we could speak to him, and he would listen to us…to me…" As she trailed off, they all stared dejectedly at the table, not saying a word. A feeling of hopelessness hung over them.

A tall man seated near them got up and quietly left the building. Pulling out a cell phone, he quickly dialed a number he obviously knew by heart,"It's me…I have the information you wanted…meet me tomorrow at the usual place and I'll tell you more."

Ending the call abruptly, he shoved the phone into his pocket and walked off, whistling quietly.

To be continued.


	13. chapter 13

Author's notes: The quotes are from Becoming (Parts one and two) and Lover's Walk.

Thank you for the wonderful **Sigma** for taking my fic and changing it to something better with his beta!!!

Chapter 13

Buffy stared at the night sky from the Hyperion's fifth floor. Glancing down at the ground below her, she idly wondered why it didn't seem to be as far down as she had thought it would be.

She thought about the last few days, shivering slightly in fear. She could just jump, but what then? She suspected that she wouldn't die, due to the whole eternity thing, and she certainly didn't want to be paralyzed for centuries. Plus, it would make Angel angrier. Not that it would really matter. He'd raped her, bitten her, and made her life hell. She really didn't think he could do much more...but then again, she hadn't suspected that he would do everything he had already done.

She was all alone now. Yes, Cordelia, Wesley, and Gunn seemed sympathetic, but she couldn't count on them. Powers or no powers, she was still the Slayer, and she would save herself.

What had Whistler told her so many years ago? 

_In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you've got. That's the point._

She shuddered, remembering her last encounter with Angelus...his taunting words trying to break her as they fought in the mansion...the sword coming closer...the fear of losing it all at Angelus's hands. 

_Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends...No hope...Take all that away...and what's left?_

_Me._

Now that truly was all she had left. Yes, even though Angel was supposedly by her side, she was now all alone.

She wondered what the Scoobies were up to now. Dawn was probably getting ready for bed, shoving her books and papers into her purple backpack, choosing her clothes for tomorrow, folding them nicely on the chair next to the door, probably smiling to herself, thinking of a cute boy she hopes will notice her. Thinking of Buffy? Maybe...maybe she's just gotten used to the whole 'missing Buffy' thing.

Willow would be watching over Dawn, making sure everything was ready for Dawn to go to school, then heading off to bed, to the waiting arms of her love, Tara.

Faith probably just finished her patrol, maybe Spike went with her.

'Spike!' Buffy thought, a heavy weight on her heart, 'What would Angel do to him? He hasn't even been mentioned, except when She ran away after her first night with Angel when he accused her of betraying him with Spike...but Angel never really talked about him or told her what he really thought about the whole Spike-Buffy thing...' A frightening thought crept into her mind, 'What if he is just waiting for the right opportunity to catch Spike? What...what if he wants to dust him?' 

She tightened her hands into fists, feeling helpless. She couldn't submit to Angel...she just couldn't. She'd have to use her time here wisely, searching through Wesley's books for that damned spell Angel used on her to take away her powers. Oh, and looking for the spell that would let her get out of the hotel was also a top priority.

A soft wind brushed her face and played with her hair, blowing it into her face. She sighed and moved her hair back, a single tear sliding on her cheek. She missed everyone so much. She missed Anya and Xander bickering, Spike's suggestive remarks, and Giles...Giles -- the one true comfort in her life, the representative of adulthood for her, her father figure, her wise council.

Her thoughts started to push her to run to Angel, to his comfort. Ever since she had started to trust him, he had the one to whom she took all her problems, when she could. But now...he had lost her trust...she would never forgive him for what he had done. Her anger began to turn into hatred...toward him...toward herself.

_You're *not* friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, _

_and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood... blood screaming inside you to work its will._

Cold hands wrapped around her waist suddenly. _Angel!_ She struggled, trying to escape this mockery of love. Angel held her tightly, though, whispering in her ear, "Let go love, don't fight me."

She relaxed, seeing no point in making thing worse. "Am I going to die?"

"No!" Angel growled, "I will not let you die, love. I would give my own life to save you. You know that."

"No," she said bitterly, "I really don't, not anymore. I used to, but now..." 

It hurt to say that. To acknowledge what her thoughts had already told her. She wasn't playing games now. She wasn't the child who tried to hurt Angel the last time she was in L.A. No, this time she meant it. After all the things he did to her, she could never trust him with anything again, especially her life.

Angel spun her around roughly, a snarl on his lips, "I told you, Buffy, I'm setting the rules here. Don't dare to question me or my abilities! I am your master and you will obey and trust me!"

"What?" she screamed, discarding all her earlier efforts at placating him, "MY MASTER!?! Are you insane? Not in a MILLION YEARS, Angel! You can torture me forever, but I will never EVER submit!"

"Oh, but you will." He growled, "I already told you, Buffy, that I'm not the Angel you knew. There's a large part of Angelus in me...the dominant part, and you will get to know that side of me intimately, whether in pain or pleasure. It's your choice." He smirked, seeing another flash of anger in her eyes. She wouldn't break easily, that he knew, but he had eternity to work on his _wife_.

Buffy stepped back, instinctively trying to get away from the threat even though she knew there was nowhere to run, "I'm not going to give in to you! You can torture me till I'm dead, but I'll never submit! I am not a piece of property!! Maybe you are still stuck in the past, but in the 21st century people don't own people. Besides, this is the United States. I know my rights; you can't force me to stay with you."

Angel's smile grew more evil. It was time to teach her an important lesson...

To be continued...


	14. chapter 14

Author's notes: The quotes are from Becoming (Parts one and two) and Lover's Walk.

Beta by the amazing **Sigma**

Chapter 14-

Angel laughed, sending chills up Buffy's spine. "C'mon, Buffy. The United States? I thought you are smarter then that! You're not a normal girl; you can't go to the police. Hell, I don't even exist according to the United States. You are a Slayer who slays vampires and demons; I'm a demon and a vampire. You lost our little game. Just face it."

"It's not a game, Angel. You don't play fair."

"Fair? You think _I_ play unfairly? Sleeping with my Childe is fair for you? Not allowing me to have any pleasure with you was fair? I left so you could have a normal life, then you go and FUCK Spike. That was FAIR to you!?!" He was shouting now, his face contorted in a snarl.

"I can't have a normal life! You should know that by now!" she shouted back.

"Oh, believe me, I know it now. That's way I took you back. I claimed you because you are mine! I'm not interfering in your normal life because you don't have one."

"Oh, thanks, Angel," she couldn't believe what he had just said, "that's rich coming from you! How noble of you to take me back! Now tell me: If I'd stayed with Riley, would you have done all this?"

"Yes, hell, I hated that guy. However, Spike is my Childe."

"All right, I know that you didn't exactly have a lot of schooling, but don't you realize you just contradicted yourself? You would have done this anyway, so it has nothing to do with Spike."

"It has everything to do with Spike, Buffy! With Riley, I would have tried to talk to you, to convince you to go, to give you the freedom you want so much, but with Spike," he chuckled, "no way, baby! You've been bad and you'll have to make up it."

She hated herself for feeling to helpless, "You're crazy, Angel! You're talking as if we were married, and I betrayed you. Not only that, but Riley's ok and Spike's not? How come you get to decide who I sleep with?"

He grabbed her by the arms slamming her on the wall, crushing her body against his. His face was within an inch of hers and he could smell her fear, "You slept with Riley. He was human, you were human. I was a demon. I ignored the laws of the demon world and left you alone. But when you slept with Spike, a demon, the human rules don't apply to you anymore! I married you according to the demon law. When you fucked with my Childe, you willingly entered into my world. According to the laws of the demons, I claimed you as consort...mate...and wife! Even God himself won't help you this time! You are mine forever and I will never let you go. I would lose my soul and my fortune, and even destroy the world before anyone or anything takes you away from me."

He gave her a quick kiss then stepped back. She stayed pressed against the wall, shaking slightly. The confidence with which he had spoken...what he had said...she suddenly lost any hope for the future.

Angel watched as emotion flickered over Buffy's face. Some part of him screamed at him to rush to her side, comfort her, be her guardian Angel...but the rational part knew there wasn't any turning back. If he let go of her now, he would lose her forever. No. She was his! The sooner she realized it, the better it would be for her. Now was the time to give her the present that would help seal her fate.

He opened a locked drawer where he kept all his private thing. Rummaging around in it for a moment, he found what he was looking for. Walking over to her, he gently picked up one of her hands, causing her to look at him suspiciously. 

"Buffy, baby," he said softly, "I have something to give you."

She frowned slightly, afraid of his surprises. He held up a lilac colored box, opened it, and slowly turned it so she could see what was inside. She froze, her heart seemed to stop beating for a second. Now she couldn't stop her tears, sliding down her cheeks.

She shoved him away and ran out onto the balcony, Angel following. She stared at the night sky in despair. The stars were gone now, covered with clouds.

"Baby, please come inside. It's about to rain and you will catch a cold."

"I don't care." she sobbed.

A flash of lightening shot across the sky, followed quickly by thunder. The storm broke, sending sheets of rain down on the city. As the drops soaked Buffy's face, they mingled with her tears.

"Wear this." Angel demanded.

"No!" she begged, "You can't made me...it's not ours anymore."

He grabbed her hand, forceably this time, shoved the Claddagh ring on her finger. She weakly resisted, but was no match for him.

She began shivering, the cold rain freezing her. Suddenly gentle, Angel swept her into his arms and took her inside, gently laying her on the bed.

Buffy yanked at the ring, unable to remove it. She pulled on it desperately, the ring reminding her of another time of her life...another storm when he gave her a ring. Only then, it was simple ring representing love and friendship. This ring, made of white gold with real diamonds inside, represented power, lust, and ownership.

_'My people -- before I was changed -- they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a claddagh ring. The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty... and the heart...Well, you know. Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody. Like this.' Angel looked at her gently, 'Put it on.'_

_Buffy sobbed 'I don't wanna do this.'_

_'Me either.'_

_Buffy was aching to hold him, 'So don't go!'_

Suddenly, she was back in the terrible present, "What have you done?"

"Do you think I'm stupid, Buffy? There's magic on this ring. You will never be able to take it off. Only I can remove it, but that will never happen, of course."

She cried openly now, not caring how vulnerable and helpless it made her look. He softly gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair lightly. It was time to give her the second present. The one that will make her submit to him forever, and keep away all her snooping friends and family.

To be continued...


	15. chapter 15

Author's note and **warning**: This chapter will prove to you how sadistic Angel can be. I am not very merciful with Buffy or Angel. I think this is the real Angel, cruel and loving, possessive and passionate. I don't like the brooding, goopy Angel on the show. It's a waste of a very good character. So you've been fairly warned. If you want smut go elsewhere.

I don't think that belonging to Angel for eternity is THAT bad...Buffy will learn eventually that it's not. (* grin *)

Beta by **Sigma**

Chapter 15-

Angel wrapped her shaking body in a warm blanket, his hands brushed her face softly. She looked at him for a moment, the lightening flashing across his beautiful face. For a fleeting moment, she saw her old Angel looking at her with love and tenderness.

'How did we go so wrong?' She thought. 'How can I possible reach him...tell him to let me go?' Her heart was aching with incredible sadness.

"Angel, I..."

"Shush." He put a silencing finger on her lips and traced their curved softness. He knew what she wanted to ask, but he couldn't give it to her. Not yet; not like that. He still had one last thing to make sure she'd stay with him. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

He left her sitting on the bed, pulling the blanket closer as tears once again threatened to spill. What was he planning now?

After what seemed to be hours passed, he finally returned, holding a file in his hands. Setting them near her, he sat down beside her at looked seriously into her eyes. "There is one more thing, Buffy, that you will have to accept. I tried to explain to you your place in my life, but you refused to listen. You ran away, told everyone what I did. You even refused to wear my ring."

"Your point?" She still commanded a little of her old sarcasm.

"My point, baby, is," He took her hands and stared at her gorgeous eyes. "I need to show you who's in control."

"What...what do you mean?" She wanted her voice to sound commanding and in control, but it came out sounding like a little girl scared of the monsters in her closet.

He smiled coldly and handed her the envelope he'd brought with him. She hesitantly opened it, but her face quickly grew confused. "I don't understand. What are you trying to say? These are just pictures of my friends, family, and watcher...are you suggesting that you'll hurt them if I don't obey you?"

"Not exactly, darling. I will not harm them physically, but there ARE other ways you know."

"No, why won't you tell me about them, Angel? Apparently we don't think the same way anymore!"

"Fine, I'll explain." He leapt to his feet and began to pace back and forth. "Let's start with your sister, Dawn. Sweet girl, loves to be in Sunnyhell. But what would happen if the authorities find out that her older, responsible sister ran away with her boyfriend, leaving her all alone? 

"Oh, right she's not ALL alone. After all, she's with: Anya, an ex-demon doesn't even exist in the authority's files -- maybe she's here illegally, what do you think? There's also Willow, a powerful witch who's recently been on drugs. Oh, and we mustn't forget Xander. Do you know why his parents broke up and fought so much? I did a little research. Apparently his father was into some questionable stuff including gambling and the mafia and other illegal things. Nothing much, but I'm sure the local police would love to know about it...what do you think will happen to Xander and his poor drunken mom? 

"And please don't forget the last, but not least: Giles, the only adult. He's been running the whole charade, but I'm sure that we could arrange it so that he's here illegally.

"Poor Dawn, who will take care of her? Her criminally-minded sister who burned down her own school at age fifteen, who was accused of murder -- twice! -- who publically fought with a known murderer? No, the authorities will send Dawn to her father here in LA. So, you see, Buffy, I really wouldn't have to have to harm them physically to get your attention, right?"

Buffy could only stare at him. She looked like a beautiful painting: her long blond hair tossed over her shoulders; her green eyes burning with an inner fire, full of hatred and anger; her red lips pressed tightly together with pain. "You are crazy." She whispered through her softly falling tears. "You are willing to destroy everyone's lives, and for what? For me?"

"Yes." He calmly and bluntly answered.

"I'm so flattered!" she mocked bitterly, "Half the stuff you said was just a lie, you know. I didn't kill Kendra, and Willow never was on drugs."

He laughed cruelly. "Well, Buffy, what would you tell the police? That Willow is a witch? That Kendra was a Slayer killed by a vampire? That a vampire kidnapped you? Oh, and don't get me wrong: you won't have a chance to tell anyone anything. If you try anything, I'll get you out of here before you could even talk to my gang here."

Buffy was sobbing openly now, wiping angrily at her eyes. She lowered her head in submission. "What do you want?"

Angel sat next to her again, pulling her onto his lap. She didn't even try to resist. There was no point. He kissed her passionately, exploring her face with his lips. "I want you to submit to me, body and soul. I want a promise that you won't run away, and, in return, I will give you some freedom during the day to walk outside the hotel. I want you to promise that you won't try to get your strength back, or suggest anything of the sort to the Scoobies or LA gang. Promise me all that, and I won't touch any of your friends and family."

"I promise." She whispered, almost silently. "I promise to do...to do whatever you want me to."

He smiled, kissing her gently on the lips. "You'll see, Buffy. Everything will be all right, baby. Shush, don't cry...you'll get used to it." He wiped her tears away carefully and smiled slightly at her.

He wasn't a fool, though. He knew that Buffy Summers would never submit that easily. She'd fight him at every turn, but she'd lose. I'd make sure of that!

He peeled her wet clothes from her body and carried her into the bathroom. Filling the tub with hot water, he placed her in it.

Buffy cried inside. In her dreams, she had once imagined Angel gently bathing her. But this was no dream. This was letting her rapist do what he wanted to her.

She was NEVER going to submit. She would do what she had to to protect her friends and family, but she would fight him to hell.

He felt her tense beneath his touch and smiled to himself. This would be a good time to show Buffy who she belonged to and to punish her for her earlier disobedience. He closed the bathroom door behind them and went to his captive mate to start her punishment.

To be continued.


	16. chapter 16

A/N: First of all thanks for all the reviews, requests and compliments, I am way flattered.

Secondly I have great news. You can find the NC- 17 chapter of this fic in Britanyca place again! I might write an NC- version for the chapter between 15-16 (If I'll find an NC 17 beta for this chapter!!!). This chapter (16) is less plot- more Buffy's inner thoughts.

Warning: mention of rape, abuse, and torture. (All the things that we won't see in Angel's show!!!)

The song: Slave To The Darkness by Iced Earth

Special thanks to Sigma for beta this fic for me.

Chapter 16-

Buffy woke up slowly, feeling Angel's cold chest pressing against her warm back. She wanted to get away from him, to be alone. She tried to move away slowly, but he growled warningly.

"I need to go to the bathroom." she said.

He let her go slowly, although not before he cupped her breast in his hand and caressed it slowly. She didn't flinch, hoping he would just let go, which he did.

Quickly she went to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She turned the warm water on, poured some bath salts in, and sank to the floor, holding her legs close to her chest. Silently, her tears began to flow.

Memories of her life and friends invaded the remaining sane part of her mind. She remembered a summer day when all of her friends had been at the beach playing ball, laughing, and enjoying the sun. Dawn had run after Xander, trying to knock him down with the ball. He had tripped and fallen on top of a girl who was sunbathing.

His face turned sooo red as they laughed at him. The girl's boyfriend had been ready to punch him, though, so Buffy had interfered.

Other memories of her life came vivid to her as she wept in the bathroom...a night out with Angel when she'd persuaded him to take her to the movies. They'd wanted to see a romantic flick, but it turned out to be a horror flick in Spanish. They'd sneaked out, almost knocking over someone in their haste, then, once they left, they'd burst out laughing. Eventually, they'd rented a movie and ended up cuddling in front of the TV, since her mom was out.

She couldn't let herself think about that. All those memories of her past life would only make her new life worse. She'd never even see her friends again. Angel claimed that he'd let her someday, but she seriously doubted that.

The tub had finally filled, so she turned off the water and took a look at herself in the mirror, wiping her tears off. She looked horrible. Her eyes were red and puffy, her hair was a mess of blond strands, and her body...

_A twisted state of mind, torn between two worlds_

One of which the new me hates, and the one that's coming true 

She slowly sank into the hot watter, letting her body relax. She was so sore in places she didn't even know could hurt. Last night was all about pain and pleasure. Angel wanted to punish her for her disobeying him--when she ran upstairs and slammed the door behind her and when she refused to wear his ring--and he needed her to know that he was in control; he was her master, her mate, her husband. 

She knew all right. Last night had proved to her why he was once the Scourge of Europe. There had been things she would never forget; pain and pleasure mixed together and she lost herself in them.

_The power is unleashed, they perish at my gaze_

But am I really in control or am I just a slave 

That was her worst fear--losing herself to him, liking the pain because pleasure always followed it. And the pleasure...

She was afraid of liking it, turning into someone else, some other girl who craved pain. 

I called upon this god to deliver unto me 

_To grant what I desire he brought me to my knees_

_He turned his back on me and filled me with his lies_

_Ask and I received damnation was the price_

Wasn't it Dracula who'd once told her that she wanted pain? She definitely remembered Spike telling her that. But, with him, pain was a game, and she never lost control. After it was over, she could forget about him and go back to her life. Now it was different: it wasn't a game anymore. Angel raped her, tortured her, used pain to accelerate her pleasure, and she liked it. It sickened her to think of it...but he was a master at what he did while she had had barely two relationships.

I signed my name in blood, didn't read the fine print 

_Now I'm just a puppet god for the devil's own descent_

_Bound and shackled here forever damned a slave_

_Fallen bloody tears can't wash the pain away_

Still, it was rape. He'd tied her up...used his belt...used his mind games, and she begged him to stop then begged him to never stop. He never did. She knew her body would heal, thanks for her immortality, but her mind wasn't as strong as everyone always assumed.

_All at once it's clear to me_

_Damnation and destiny_

_A slave to darkness shall I be_

Damnation and destiny 

She used a soft cloth to wash her body, hissing in pain as it touched the burning skin where he'd hurt her and left red and blue marks that would fade in a few hours.

_And so I must repent or will I be destroyed_

Will the one that lives in me release me from this lie 

_And will the wrath of god have mercy on my soul_

_Or humilate me, desecrate me, like his only son_

She finished her bath long before Angel would have joined her and quickly put on her clothes. She cautiously left her temporary refuge and discovered Angel was gone, leaving a note on the bed.

My lovely Buffy: 

_I had to go and investigate a case with my colleges, but I left you my gold credit card. Go out with Cordelia and have a great time._

_I have a surprise for you tonight, it involves you buying something nice for a party_

_Love,_

_Your husband Angel_

She sighed heavily, where is he planning on taking her? A party? What kind of a party? Usually she would have enjoyed shopping and spending money, but this was different. She felt like a cheap whore or mistress, even though Angel still called himself her husband. 

But, what else could she do? She couldn't run away, not after he threatened her friends. She needed to convince Cordy that she was fine...but how could she do that?

Next chapter will be the party!


	17. chapter 17

Huge author's note: I am so very sorry I haven't updated this fic for quit a long time, shame on me! 

Rating: Strong R

Thanks so much for Tygerlily who beta this chapter for me!!!

Chapter 17

Buffy headed downstairs her stomach letting her know that it was time for something to eat. Though she was hungry, after all that had happened the night before she wasn't too sure how much of an appetite she'd have. 

Cordelia was seated at the front desk arranging an assortment of documents while sending out a fax, occasionally she flipped on the computer looking for information.

Buffy inhaled deeply before even speaking what was on her mind, all she really wanted was to share everything that was going on with her life with someone; how cruel Angel had been to her and how he'd treated her but she also clearly remembered his threats on her friends and family if she disobeyed him. She could ask for Cordelia's help but that wouldn't really do any good; Angel would more than likely punish her for her disobedience and take away all that her friends hold dear to their hearts. No, she had to convince Cordy that she and Angel had made up and she was there out of her own free will and not because he forced her into submission… not by kidnapping her, raping her and threatening her friends… there was no way anyone could help her now, she though bitterly.

She cleared her throat so as not to scare Cordelia. At the sudden sound Cordy turned around to face Buffy. Slightly startled at first she stuttered through a hello.

"Oh…Ah…Hi…I mean… Hey"

"Cordelia Chase at a loss for words, I never though I'd see the day? 

This definitely has to be a first" Buffy mused.

Cordelia cocked her head to the side a curious expression marring her face, Buffy seemed fine to her, there were no traces of tears or abuse to indicate Angel's earlier activates or hurtful and sarcastic remarks, it was if she was the same old Buffy.

Buffy put her hands on her waist, "What's the matter Cor? Cat got your tongue?" Her eyes flashed with a certain fire that hadn't been there earlier causing the former May Queen to flinch. 

'What the hell is going on?' was Cordelia's first thought

"Back to Bitch Buffy as normal I see" It was a statement not a question

Buffy smiled but quickly hid it; it was starting to work well.

"Sorry Cordy… though I was kinda wondering…am suppose to go with Angel tonight, there is some dinner party he mentioned earlier… anyway… Angel left me his credit card for me to go and buy …" she trailed off for a moment to collect her thoughts. "…Something really expensive yet elegant for the party tonight" she smiled to herself, suits him right! 

"I was wondering… well maybe if you wanted to come with me?"

Cordelia just looked puzzled, what the hell had happened to Buffy? Wasn't she was supposed to be all broody like and crying, what exactly did that bastard do to her?

"A spell!" she quipped.

"Wha?" Buffy asked a confused expression on her face, "What spell?"

Cordelia just folded her arms across her chest and rolled her eyes, explaining it to Buffy as if she were a small child. 

"The spell Angel has put you under… you know…to make you forget what happened to you."

"What? Cordy, Angel didn't put any spell on me" besides the one he used to take my slaying abilities, she thought ruefully. She then realized that she would have to do some fast talking to fool Queen C. She could pull it off, just as long as she was fast about it.

"Look Cordelia, I know that the past few days had been… well confusing at best but… umm…last night Angel and I sorted things out, you know we talked about our problems and I realized how much I still love him… and how I've been pretty selfish towards him, all he really wanted to do was be with me after the curse was no longer an issue and all I did were things only to spite him and that was wrong of me. Really, I didn't mean to confuse all of you and you know how we are, I mean hello; you created our _show_ as you call it; _The Buffy and Angel Saga_, Angel and I are fine now, I promise." The lies that flowed so easily from her lips burned both her tongue and her heart. 

She couldn't believe how easily she surrender too him, the slayer in her was screaming for her to fight back but the girl in her was just telling her to let it be… asking her _isn't this what she has always wanted_, though she didn't had her slayer powers anymore the slayer was still inside her and would always remain apart of her there was no changing that. The Slayer was who she was. Not even Angel could take that way.  She spared a quick look to see if Cordy was buying her little white lie. Though Cordelia's face gave nothing away, perhaps she was starting to believe her or maybe she still thought that Buffy was hiding something, either way she didn't say a thing.

"So…" Buffy continued, "I guess I'll be staying here, with you guys, it will give me a change of scenery, god knows I've been in the 'Dale for way to long… a start on a new life, after all life's short, I should broaden my horizons a bit, what do ya think?"

Cordelia couldn't help but think that Buffy was beyond confused; she honestly didn't know what to think, she had to get out of there, find the others and discuses it with them, right now she would bide her time and let Buffy be, besides, Buffy looked okay to her so maybe everything was fine? But there was a part of her that learned from experience that things are not always as they seem and that it was way too easy to hide the truth and Buffy sure as hell had practice at that.

"Cordy?" Buffy looked at her with her bright green eyes, looking for an answer, seeing that the brunette was still deciding she sighed heavily

"The party tonight, can you go with me to do some shopping or are you suppose to be here doing whatever it is you do?"

The words; _Shopping, Angel's Credit Card_ and _Party_ shook Cordelia from the stupor she was had herself in.

"Just let me get my purse" she said

Five hours later they returned to the hotel carrying a slew of bags. Gunn and Angel were examining some artifact while Wesley searched through his books hoping to find its origin. Their attention turned toward the door as the two girls struggled to carry all their purchases inside. 

"Dear god, what did you buy?" Wesley asked with concern in his eyes.

"A little help would be great, thanks!" snapped Cordy as Angel and Gunn went to take the girls bags.

After placing Buffy's purchases in Angel and Buffy's room they all gathered in the lobby. Wesley was sitting near the counter, while Cordy and Gunn continued the examination of the artifact, occasionally Cordelia would mentioned something about their shopping trip and all the cute things she and Buffy bought earlier. Angel pulled Buffy into his lap and laid a gentle kiss onto her pulse point, one hand went through her silken hair while the other caressed her back.

"Did you have a good time, honey?" he murmured in her ear, running his tongue along the shell of her ear. 

She shivered and tried to hide her excitement at the act; no matter what her heart was telling her her body was having a totally different idea.

"I bought this fabulous dress today, it was three thousand dollar… but I didn't think you mind" she said sweetly hoping to bait him. She knew from Cordelia that he could be pretty anal about money.

To her annoyances he merely smiled and softly kissed her nose, "You can buy anything you want, love. I already told you my girl deserves only the best. And if that was the dress you wanted, then that was the dress you should have"

"So why won't you let me go?" she whispered angrily 

He growled deep in his throat knowing it was low enough that only she would be able to hear it.

"I will never do that" he bit out forcefully

He looked at his watch and extended his hand for Buffy, who took it with only a moment's hesitation. She didn't want the others to think something was wrong. Not after her talk with Cordelia earlier.  

"Buffy sweetheart, why won't you go up and get ready. We'll be leaving in about an hour or so"

She plastered a fake smile and softly whispered out an okay. As she went to ascend the stairs he grabbed her and pulled her up against his broad chest, his lips attacked hers in act of possessiveness and she couldn't suppress the soft moan that escaped her lips.

An hour later she was ready to go and be on her demon's arm. When she finally headed back downstairs it was alright an hour or two past the twilight hour, everyone had probably already left already. She had wanted to say thank you to Cordelia for the wonderful day they'd spent together. She hadn't had so much fun in a long while, Cordy had taken her to a famous salon were they had pampered her from head to toe. Buffy sighed heavily thinking about the evening that lay before her, she was a bundle of nerves about going to this party with Angel, she didn't know were he was taking her and she wasn't too sure that she'd like it if she actually knew, besides none of the AI team was suppose to come so that was another negative for her.

She heard a low growl coming from behind her and as she turned to face her Angel, her breath caught in her throat. He looked absolutely stunning.

He was wearing a pair of black trousers with a gray silken shirt with the three top buttons open to reveal a small expanse of his delicious alabaster skin. His hair was spiked and shined just the way she remembered it but the clothes weren't anything like her Angels', his entire appearance screamed sex appeal. Dark, dangerous and mysterious, he looked more like Angelus than anything else. 

As if he could hear her every thought he merely gave her a sexy little smirk and asked. "Do you like what you see, lover?"

She blushed deeply as her mind was a wash with images of last night.

"You look …" she wanted to say something scathing and rude but she didn't want to start the evening on the wrong foot or make him angry, she still wasn't too sure if she was ready for what he had in store for the evening and she had to trust in him. For this night, he was her only protection.

"You look nice" she managed to say

Angel brushed off the slight on his looks. He still couldn't believe that this beauty standing before him was his wife, she was _HIS_. His darling girl was wearing a light purple dress that flowed elegantly all the way down to the floor, it hugged her body perfectly clinging to all the right curves, a plunging neckline in the front revealed a enticing piece of golden flesh, the color of the dress only empathized her golden tan. Her hair was pilled up on top of her head with a few tendrils falling down to frame her pixie like features. The bit of make up that brought out her green eyes made them shine even brighter than normal. 

To him she was a goddess on earth. She was _His goddess, his wife, his mate._ Angel smiled back sauntered to her, he grabbed her and pulled her into a bruising kiss, "You look absolutely gorgeous, you're gonna turn everyone's head tonight."

When he saw the frightened look in her eye he pulled her close and reassuringly told her not to worry. 

"Don't worry baby, I'll be with you the entire time, I promise you that we'll have a wonderful time this evening"

Angel took her hand in his as he headed out toward the car. To Buffy's complete and utter surprise they entered a limo. She quirked her brow in suspicion but he only smiled at her, though it wasn't genuine it was one someone would where if he was holding something back.

She climbed into the limo a bit reluctantly but didn't want to anger him before the evening started. On the way there Angel tried to start up a conversation with her but he was only met with silence, she was too much a mass of nerves to converse civilly. A delightfully sinful idea crept to his mind. He scooped a surprised Buffy up onto his lap and began caressing her, his hand slowly reached down into her soft satin panties. He slowly slid his hand inside and captured her mouth with his.

Half an hour later a very sated Buffy and her vampire reached their destination. The limo pulled up in front of the man towering buildings in L.A used for foundation parties and general events for the high society. Angel helped her out of the limo and escorted his lovely bride inside. 

Continued in Chapter 18!


	18. chapter 18

Rating: Strong R

Author's note: Lila didn't die, Angel slept with Darla.

This chapter is not beta!!!!!!!!!!! I need a beta urgently. You decide after this if I can continue without a beta- if so then do not feedback me about grammar or spelling.

If you want to read beta only then boy we have a problem…

So I don't know when the next installment will be, till then enjoy…

Beta- by Sonya: Thank you for beta this for me:-))

Chapter 18

Her heart was flip-flopping in excitement; she had never been in anything like that before. All of high society was here; beautiful woman with lovely gowns and expensive jewelry, the men wore tuxedos and champagne was flowing like water. A soft jazz music was coming from a band on the stage. She turned around to see all those people laughing and chatting without a care in the world. She couldn't believe that she, Buffy Summers from the 'dale, were actually here; sipping champagne, wearing an expensive diamond ring and attending this affair with her husband. Her husband, she smirked, what a joke.

"Penny for your thoughts" Angel mused in her ear.

As she was about to answer, someone tapped Angel on the shoulder. He turned around with Buffy and her breath caught in her throat as she saw a beautiful woman standing in front of her.

She could tell by the disgusted look Angel gave her, that they were familiar with one another but not very fond of each other.

The tall brunette with big blue eyes scanned Buffy intensely until her gaze rested on Buffy's finger which caught sight of the claddagh ring. She was surprised to see Angel wearing a similar ring as well.

"Lila" Angel dryly called, "What a great start for this evening", his tone indicating anything but.

Lila smiled at him seductively, "Hello Angel, I'm glad you could come… and who is the lovely young lady?"

She extended her hand to Buffy as Angel introduced her.

"Buffy, this is Lila Morgan, previous C.E.O of Wolfram and Hart. Lila, this is my wife, Buffy."

She could see Lila flinch at his remark and surprise registered on her face.

"A vampire bonding with the greatest slayer in History… isn't that interesting?" She smirked.

Buffy was surprised that she knew who and what they were but Angel wasn't surprised at all.

"A master vampire Lila, don't forget that."

"Of course not" she smirked, "how can we forget what happened to us all the last time…"

Angel cut her off, "That's enough business here Lila. We'll talk later." He practically ripped Buffy's arm as he pulled her to the other side of the room.

"Angel, what was she talking about? What is Wolfram & Hart?"

Angel sighed, he didn't want to have this conversation but he knew it was inevitable. He just didn't want to start fighting with Buffy; he wanted to enjoy the evening.

"W& H are law firm specialized in the…let's say X files". By the puzzled look Buffy gave him, he continued further, "they represent the local demonic community."

"You mean they're a firm from hell?"

"What I mean, is that they represent those who need representation."

"And that includes vampires?" she asked anger in her voice.

He could feel that a fight was about to start, "vampires are considered clients as well. After all I'm a vampire also."

"That's not what I meant" she snapped. "Why are they here at this party…more importantly, why are we here?"

"We're here because I'm supposed to be here, you're here because you're my wife, W&H are here because this is their party."

Buffy was loosing her patience. It was one thing for her to have to stay with Angel for eternity but she'd be dammed if she associated with these low life lawyers.

"But why are YOU here Angel? Why are you supposed to be here?"

"Because as the C.E.O of W&H, I should show my face once in a while and get to know the clients."

Buffy was left with her mouth open in shock. Angel was the C.E.O of this company?

"So all the money and the expensive car were from this new exciting position?" she mocked.

Angel noticed her mockery but ignored it. "Some of it is… but most of it is a fortune I gathered for centuries."

"You mean Angelus" she accused.

"I mean me. I told you before Buffy, I accepted the fact that Angelus and I are the same, his money is mine and you'll just have to accept that."

"I don't…"

"Angel!" a loud masculine voice greeted Angel and he returned the smile.

It was a tall man probably in his mid fifties; he had brown thick hair and gray blue eyes. He reminded Buffy of her history teacher in high school but he probably wasn't.

"Arthur, good to see you" Angel shook is hand and he returned the shake while snaking glances at Buffy. Arthur was struck by her beauty.

"Buffy, baby, this is Arthur Piork. He's one of our best lawyers. Arthur… my wife Buffy."

He shook her hand, "Nice to meet you. Tell me Angel boy, where exactly have you been hiding this beauty? When did you manage to get married?"

Angel smirked, "I'm her high school sweet heart. It was love at first sight. We got married, actually a couple of years ago but she just now finally moved to L.A."

Buffy wanted to laugh out loud when hearing Angel's lies. Well most of it was actually true; they did meet when she was in high school and technically he did married her a couple of years ago but the way Angel presented their love and marriage put a mockery to the words love and marriage.

Arthur examined Buffy closely, with starving eyes, dripping of lust. He wanted to throw her on the floor and fuck her right there but Angel was too dangerous. Rumors had it that this Buffy was his only mate and he didn't want to anger his new demented boss. Perhaps if Angel failed in the relationship, he could take this beauty for himself.

As if sensing his thoughts, Angel tightened his grip on Buffy and she voluntarily melted into his arms. She didn't like this Arthur and after all Angel was her husband now and reluctantly the only one she could trust.

They talked briefly about business until a group of lawyers dragged Angel to meet new clients and the management.

He promised Buffy that he'd be right back. She sighed, the anger still resided within her. She wanted to continue their conversation regarding his new involvement with this company.

"You look different then what I had expected." 

Buffy turned to face Lila Morgan. She had a predatory look in her eyes but what made Buffy feel most uncomfortable was the confidence with which Lila relied on. Buffy felt like a little girl next to her. Lila was a woman while Buffy felt like a stupid child playing house but she wasn't about to back down. She could tell that Lila wanted Angel but he obviously didn't reciprocate.

"What did you expect?" she asked in a fake sweetness.

"Well, I don't know, maybe more…taller, perhaps?"

"Angel likes me just the way I am. I guess very tall women are not his style" she smirked, obvious to both of them she meant Lila.

"I guess you are right," she agreed, sighing, "I can see the resemblance though…"

"What resemblance?"

"To his other love, you know…his sire, the one who spent centuries by his side…a certain blonde by the name of Darla?"

Buffy tried her best to hide the pain and hurt she began to feel but Lila, being used to hurting people could see right through her and continued to twist the knife, "Of course…he dusted her back then in Sunnydale, the little town you came from but then we resurrected her."

"You what?!" she almost shouted, "Why the hell would you do that?"

Lila smiled pleased with herself, "It's a long story but my point is, darling…that Angel always goes for the blondes."

"Angel and Darla are through. I don't care where she is now."

"Well" Lila smiled, her eyes wickedly smiling "…I think she disappeared after Angel dumped her. You know how it is… making love to the only demon you spent centuries with and then he dumps you after he gets what he wants…because another certain blonde can't give it to him… well that's just mean, don't you agree?"

Buffy held the tears in her eyes and they sparkled, "You're lying. Angel would never sleep with Darla. He hates her."

"You know what? That's exactly what we used to think but from time to time…people can surprise you."

Flinching from the last remark, she remembered that it was the same comment given to her in the past by her beloved surrogate father and it brought tears to her eyes. That and the adding of Angel's infidelity.

"And some don't" Buffy retorted, childish, she knew but she had to say something.

Lila smirked at her, as if reading her mind.

"I can see why Angel is so amused with you. Do you think Darla amused him too?" She brought the drink to her lipstick red lips and suppressed a laugh. Seeing Buffy hurt and humiliated was the best thing to happen to Lila in quite a while. Angel, being the head of W&H instead of her was humiliating and a huge slap to her ego but making Angel's wife suffer was just a bit of what she needed right now.

Buffy had had enough. She didn't believe a word this woman was telling her and she sure as hell wasn't going to stick around. As she turned to look for Angel, he showed up, as if feeling her distress.

Angel saw her talking to Lila and he knew it couldn't be good.

"Angel" Lila lifted the glass, "glad you could join us again. You know I just filled Buffy in with what you've been up too lately. You know, with Darla and all".

Angel growled, his eyes turning a slight yellow, "Buffy, let's go. There are actually real humans here I would like you to meet" he gave Lila a warning glare and took Buffy's hand.

Buffy stood still, staring at him with green furious eyes, "Angel, what Lila said…about Darla…"

He didn't want to discuss this with Lila listening and frankly, he didn't know exactly how much she'd told Buffy, "Not now" he snapped.

"Yes! Now." Buffy raised her voice.

So the girl has a spine, Lila smirked, wonder how long it will last with Angel being Angelus-like. With that, she decided to push her luck.

"Why Angel, I think your wife has a right to know that you fucked your sire, don't you?"

Angel grabbed Lila's arm forcefully, his face inches from her, "you know you're history" he threatened but to Buffy's surprise she didn't move a muscle.

"Angel", Buffy called to him, her voice trembling, "Is it true? Was Darla back…were you…?" she couldn't finish the sentence, it was too painful and despite what Angel did to her… she couldn't bring herself to think of him with anyone else, especially _Darla._

Angel didn't say a word, he didn't have time because one look from his soul mate told him she knew perfectly well the truth and before he could talk to her she ran away.

"Buffy!" he called desperately with anger.

If she ran away again he didn't think he could control the demon inside him.

To be continued…

Author note: The idea of Angel being the head of W&H came to me during season 2 of Angel, while I just started writing Black Heart so seeing it at season 4 was very…upsetting. You work on idea, you set the future story in your head and then it happens for real, in the show! I hope you'll believe me but if you don't I can't do a thing about it but it's the true!!!!


	19. chapter 19

Author note: I am sooooooooo bad for haven't updated it for a …

*** **Sigh * quit some time but I have good excuse, I wanted my readers to enjoy this fic and in order for you to enjoy it I wanted to give all that I have for this fic and I couldn't bring myself to write anything, totally blocked!!!!!!!!!!

But look, I wrote it though, Yay me!

I would like to thank all of those who gave me feedback.

The song "A broken upper hand" by demon hunter.

The song "I ain't no nice guy by Ozzy Osbourne. (mixed a bit the lines…)

Rating: strong R

Thank you so much Sonya for beta this fic for me, you saved me!!!!!!!!

Also- great thanks to those who offered to beta my fics!

Chapter 19

Lindsey was sitting outside the building; actually it was at the back door exit. His one good hand was holding a cigarette while he leaned his head against the cold concrete wall. He inhaled deeply while watching the smoke disappear in the dark cold night and he breathed heavily. 

Contemplating his life, he thought…no… knew, that his life could have been different; he could have stayed in New York, taken the lousy job with Mary's father, get married to her and have a nice little family, with nice little paychecks and a nice little house.

But he was never nice.

Nice just wasn't him.

****

**_When I was young I was the nicest guy I knew_**

**_I thought that I was living life the only way _**

**_But as I saw that life was more than day-to-day_**

**_I turned around; I read the writing on the wall_**

**_I ain't no nice guy after all, _**

**_I ain't no nice guy after all_**

Suits him right, he snorted. Looking at his missing hand, he grimaced in anger and humiliation.

He didn't know when or how but Angel would pay for that. He didn't care that he had no money, no clothes… fuck, he didn't have a place to go but he had hope and hope kept him going.

What was that song he'd once heard…?

****

**_My shine wore off as time wore on_**

**_I thought that I was living out the perfect life_**

**_But in the lonely hours when the truth begins to bite_**

**_I though about the times when I turned my back and stalled_**

**_I ain't no nice guy after all_**

****

**_I thought I was the chosen one_**

**_But time went by and I found out a thing or two_**

And then he saw her, standing outside the enormous building that housed the latest party by W & H. The most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life and he'd seen plenty. Beautiful wasn't a good enough word to describe her, more like a goddess…an angel coming to this hell called earth.

He didn't know what mesmerized him exactly; her luscious body that was slightly seen through the thin fabric she wore, her long blonde thick curls falling behind her back as a band of gold or those green emerald eyes.

With all of this, she was stunningly beautiful.

Once, he could have had a woman like that. A woman? No, she looked more of a girl, a teenager but she was coming from the damn party so she couldn't have been too young, could she? He sighed, it doesn't matter…she wouldn't even look at him. He had nothing to offer her but his good looks which even he wasn't sure they were enough anymore.

No, that girl probably had someone powerful, rich and handsome boyfriend. Girls like her always end up with someone who can give them things.

Suddenly, his heart stopped as his eyes glared with hate and resentment towards her company.

He should have known, damn it! Angel. Angel, coming from the party; holding her hand roughly, dragged her towards the back entry.

Lindsey quickly hid behind the musicians van, as he curiously waited to see and hear what was going on.

Angel looked angry enough, he could see his eyes turning yellow and he growled deeply.

"Damn it Buffy! You were about to run again!" he accused her, his tone threatening.

Lindsey almost let out a loud sigh. Buffy, she was THE slayer, the famous one, he should have known…he should have known that a girl like her, a slayer above all, would end up with the scourge of Europe or was it the scourge of L.A now?

Buffy released her arm in anger facing him, "I wasn't running away! I promised you I wouldn't do that again and I won't. You threatened my friends well enough for me to never even consider it, so stop bullying me!"

Angel eased his features a bit. "I was worried about you. You know that you can't wander around like that, not when…well you know."

"Believe me I know. If you were so damn worried about me then why won't you give me my strength back?" She held her tender arm around her slim hips, her eyes shooting daggers at Angel.

"I can't do that!" he answered forcefully. He didn't want to start an argument again; he was in the mood to party, to show off Buffy, to let everyone know, demons and humans, that she belonged to him, his wife, mate, and consort. 

"I want to go inside Buffy, so stop playing your childish games".

She tore herself from him, tears formed in her green eyes as his words sank in making her shiver in rage and frustration, "Childish? How dare you! You conniving bastard! You kidnapped me, you took me away from my life and family, you forced yourself into my body and soul, made me yours even when I didn't want you, you accused me of practically being a whore concerning Spike and you fucked your sire! How dare you call me childish! How dare you stand here and pretend to care for me, pretend to love me when you've hurt me the most?" The tears were falling on her cheeks. She didn't care anymore. It hurt so much to hear about him and Darla.

Angel stalked slowly to her; he backed her to the wall, leaning closely. He could smell her fear, shame and anger. It was intoxicating but not yet reassuring. She was just a bit frightened but not as frighten as he wanted her to be. He wanted her to fear him enough for her not to try and run away, not to risk herself wandering at night with no slayer strength. His demon also screamed inside him for control and dominance, he needed to be her master, to have her submit. It was his nature and those feelings wouldn't go away. It was like an itch crawling inside his body making him go mad. 

She felt his breath on her, his eyes roaming her body. His hands slowly crept to her thighs, going underneath the dress, inside her panties.

"No" she moaned, fear and excitement in the same breath. God, she wanted him so much! She wanted to hate him but she couldn't. She was afraid he'd take her right there, like some whore from the street but what she feared most was that she'd like it.

"You want me" he cooed in her ear, making her shiver.

"Nnnoo…" she mumbled, hardly able to concentrate as his fingers touched her burning skin.

"Tell me Buff," she flinched as she heard him call her that, "why is my fucking Darla any different from you fucking Spike? What makes it so damn different? "

She didn't answer as her mind contemplated his words.

"I'll tell you what…" he suggested, his fingers moving in and out of her, making her moan loud enough for Lindsey to hear whose own organ was becoming hard for her.

"…You think that you had a perfectly good reason, after that whole heaven-hell thing…well guess what…I felt the same. I was in hell all this time being apart from you…" he moved his fingers fast and she was so close. "…Not able to touch you or make love to you and then Willow told us you died. I wanted to die with you …then you came back. We met and I wanted to tell you that there might be hope for us. I worked night and day, finding a way out, finding a solution that we could be together. What kept me sane was the thought of being with you again. The A.I team didn't know what was going on with me. I was a wreck and I needed answers. I couldn't sleep or work. They thought it was because of Darla and Drusilla. Part of that was true but I wanted to get rid of the curse. I wanted us. Then I found it. I restored my soul permanently without any loop hole. I wanted to tell you…." He moved his fingers fast and he felt her tighten around him, she was close, almost there, she didn't want too but her body failed her.

As the orgasm washed her, making her relax and feel complete and pure she heard him "…then I heard about you and Spike. My Buffy, my light and sun, the one true love who brought me to life time after time, my mate and wife, without me…"

She screamed as she felt a second wave of orgasm wash her over and tears streamed from her eyes, tears of shame, humiliation, tears of lost hopes and dreams.

He released her, letting her lean on the wall.

He held her chin forcefully, his eyes cold and dark, "I'm going inside. As my wife I expect you to be there. You can take five minutes. If you aren't there by then I will drag you home myself and you'll learn what's it's like to be punished by Angelus".

He left her there broken and crying.

****

**_Trapped behind my state of mind _**

**_I took your words and now I'm blind._**

**_And everything you've given just kills me._**

His words taunted her. They were cruel and painful and hurt ten times more than any of physical things he'd done to her. Was she the one to blame? Was her stupidity the cause of his blinded hate for her? Was her forbidden passion for his childe the cause for Angel to drag her to the hell that now was her life? Could she have been happy with him had she not slept with Spike?

Feeling her heartbreak all over again, she fell to the ground sobbing.

**_Your words swarm through my soul like locusts._**

**_Eating away at any glimpse of focus._**

**_Their eyes flaming red like pain._**

**_Filling the void once righteous and bloodstained._**

It was Lindsey's turn to show, to take a vow and enter the game. Only he knew that his heart might soon belong to her and that definitely wasn't part of the game.

He helped her up and as her tear streaked face looked at him in question, he held his hand out for her to take.

"I'm a friend, Buffy" he smiled slightly.

She only hesitated for a minute, thinking about Angel. She was already in deep trouble and he couldn't have anything new to torture and punish her with.

"I want to get out of here" she whispered.

He directed her to his car and they drove off.

****

**_But words can't kill the light inside me _**

**_That tears me from the hate that binds me._**

**_I feel it crawling up my spine._**

**_But I'll cut it off before it reaches the bloodline_**

**_You'll never fade me out, you'll never turn me off._**

**_You'll never reach the end, you'll never hear enough._**

**_You're half-grasp can't exterminate my stand._**

**_You can't rule with a broken upper hand._**

A fragment of what's been left behind 

To continue? I would really appreciate feedback. Since I am writing new fics and trying to update them as well I need to know if there is any interest in this one?

Now, don't go sending me any hate mails about Linds and Buff, this is Buffy/Angel (us)

:-) Cheers

Eve


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: First off I would like to thank those who gave me feedback for this fic and my others as well.

I want to clarify a few things: If I am writing new fics it doesn't mean that I abandoned my other fics, it could be better then the others or not, it most probably be deferent.

I intend to finish "Black Heart" and "War" they are my babies and I will finish them, someday, not yet.

I know that my updates are taking a while but I am very busy with RL and when I update I want it to be as perfect as possible for me, I will not update under pressure or anything else, I always appreciate feedback, each and everyone but I can update only when I have something to update.

Some wrote to me that my Angelus is cruel and how can I condole rape and Buffy can't enjoy rape and all, well News Flash for you! I do not condole rape in any case, this is Angelus, he is viscous and cruel, come on now this is the scourge of Europe not Dracula 2000 lol and if you truly understand the nature of Angelus and Buffy you would know that it's not the rape usually refer to, besides I warned everyone repeatedly, this isn't fluff, this is angst, dark I am trying to explore the deepest emotions of BTVS characters, hopefully by doing a good job.

Let's just say that if Joss could make a show with the real Angelus and Buffy you will see something more like the NC- 17 fics, which are out there.

Special thanks to: Bri (Britanyca) who gave my fics a lovely home first when they were homeless and of course all the readers who gave me feedback asking for more!

**This chapter was beta by Lena. Thank you so much Lena, you are truly a lifesaver,**

By the way this is Buffy Angel/us fic not B/L, B/S or B/Others. If the muse will draw me to other direction then fine as long as it suits my plot and finally that Buffy and Angel will be together!

If you see Buffy with others please trust me it is for the plot, I have a reason for everything so keep in mind that this is B/A relationship.

The song Chains Of Misery by **Iron Maiden**

Chapter 20

Buffy was sitting in the car looking outside, observing the nightlife as people

went on with their lives without a care in the world. She knew it was a lie; no

one lived happily ever after, probably not even in fairytales. Despite what it

may seem on the outside she knew perfectly clearly that no matter how one

observes others, their reality is most likely very different. Some may look rich

and pretty while their lives are a living hell, much like hers. You can never

truly know what hides beneath the surface.

She should know better then anyone, she thought bitterly as dark thoughts

entered her mind while she thought of him. On the outside one could look very

handsome and rich, but on the inside; she felt poor, poor and miserable, alone.

What scared her the most was 'forever'.

"_'I can stay in town as long as you want me...' 'How's forever? Does forever_

_work for you?'"_

Once it was all she ever wanted, had ever dreamed of. Sure, there was Spike and

he was a good friend, great lover, and strong protector, but he wasn't Angel.

Deep down, she knew that she preferred even Angelus, rather then any other, but

still he wasn't Angel.

A part of her told herself to let go, let him dominant her, control her. She

would not age or die, she, thanks to Angel, now has plenty of money to live the

life she always dreamed about.They can have plenty of sex, and she knew that

if you take only the sex, without the implication involved, it then it was

great, mind blowing sex.

But she couldn't, never. Angel took away her slayer strength but he could never

take the slayer in her.It is part of her, a part of who she is and always

will

be, no one can take it from her.And even before being a slayer she had

always

been a fighter, she always fought her battles and won, she always had been a

"feisty" one.

She couldn't just stand back and let him do whatever he wish to do, she wasn't

submissive, it wasn't in her nature.She couldn't just forget and let go,

because letting go means defeat and she wasn't going to...yet.

But she didnit know what to expect of "forever". Sure, she watched, like all the

others, "Interview With A Vampire" and saw how Brad Pitt struggled through

forever to forget Lestat and his unending life.She felt his misery pouring

from him during the entire story, and she never truly forgot the feel of him. A

feeling of loneliness, oldness, how time, people, and places pass you by, and

you remain as you are until insanity claims you. What will happen after a

hundred years, after two or three? What would become of her if something happens

to Angel and she was left alone? How could she see the people she loves so much

pass away, leaving her behind?

She held back her tears and swallowed the lump in her throat.

The soft music coming from the radio almost made her lose the tears she tried so

hard to keep. The lyrics got to her and she shivered deeply.

_****_

_****_

_**There's a madman in the corner of your eye**_

_**He likes to prey into your sunlight**_

_**He wants to burst into the street with you and I**_

_**A world of shadows and rain**_

_**He's seen what love is**_

**_He wants to pay you back with guilt_**

It was as if someone wrote this song especially for the three of them; her,

Angel, and Angelus.

She was miserable, Angelus was probably miserable for still being locked in

Angel and Angel, hell she didn't know what he was thinking now, he didn't seem

miserable or upset with his actions, only with hers.But that, she thought

bitterly, only gave him the opportunity to punish her more. Each punishment

showed her how much farther away her freedom is.

He will never set her free, he will never let her be.

_****_

_****_

_**He lies to you he won't let you be**_

_**He's got your Chains of Misery**_

_**He won't be still 'till he's turned your key**_

_**He holds your Chains of Misery**_

_**He's got your Chains of Misery**_

She knew it was true, though. He has her chains of misery and as long as he has

them she will never be able to get out.

The car pulled to a dark alley, retrieving her thoughts from Angel. She

panicked, looking at her company, remembering the situation she was in right

now. How stupid could she be? She doesn't have any slayer strength and the

kickboxing won't help with gods knows what! What was she thinking, going into

this car with a total stranger, a stranger who is taking her to a dark alley, a

stranger who knew her name. Well she didn't know him, so he probably knew her

from Angel; he was at the party, right? He knows Angel, is it good or bad?

TBC in chapter 21


	21. Chapter 21

The song Hero by **Enrique Iglesias**

**This chapter was beta by Lena. Thank you so much Lena, you are truly a lifesaver,**

Chapter 21

"I don't bite," he smirked.

"Wha-what?" she was startled.

"I am not going to hurt you Buffy." He smiled gently at her and pulled the car

to a stop.

"Come outside."

They left the car and he directed her to the near street. It was a small quiet

street, with few people walking by and an ice cream shop.

"Wait here."

He returned moments later carrying two cones of ice cream. He gave Buffy one.

She hesitantly licked the ice cream, smiling as she tasted the familiar vanilla

flavor.

"How did you know?" she asked, amazed.

"I guessed."

He directed her to a bench a little ways away. They sat quietly for about an

hour, eating their ice cream and simply thinking.

Eventually, she had to know.

"You called me Buffy, before, at the party, have we met?"

Lindsey sighed, he knew this was coming but he had a lot of thinking during

their ride here, he knew how to proceed.

"I think it would be best if we leave it as that." He stated.

She thought for a minute, tasting the sweet vanilla, "I don't-" she started

protesting, "can you tell me who you are?"

"Can you tell me who you are?" he asked, daring her to reveal herself.

She looked into his blue eyes, no deception there, mystery, hiding secrets yes,

but nothing cruel or malicious.

She reached her hand to him and he took it questioningly, "Hi I'm Buffy Anne

Summers."

He smiled, a smile that lightened his face, at her suggestion of a friendly

start.

"Nice to meet you Buffy. I'm Lindsey MacDonald."

"So Linds, can I call you Linds? Good. What can you show me here beside the ice

cream shop?"

"Well-" he started, an idea formed in his head. He stood up and pulled her with

him.

"What, were are we going?"

"A surprise, I hope."

They drove for fifteen minutes and stopped outside a small building. She

hesitated to go out, and he held his hand for her to take.

"Trust me."

She looked into those blue eyes again and felt safe. She took his hand and let

him lead her inside.

They approached a man in his fifties and Buffy waited$A0 to the side as Lindsey

talked to him.

"It's ok. Let's go in."

"Um...Linds, where is "in" exactly?"

"You'll see, I hope you'll like it."

He switched on the lights and revealed a huge ice-skating rink.

Buffy smiled slightly. Lindsey saw it and smiled as well.

"I take it you like ice skating?"

"Like it? I love it! I used to skate a lot before-...anyway, I can't skate with

this evening gown."

"Oh, come on Buff, I'm sure you'll manage."

She smiled slightly then waited for Lindsey to bring her the skating shoes.

"Here you go Buffy. Show me what you are made of!"

She smiled as she put on the skates and starting to warm up. Lindsey watched her

from afar fascinated by her movements, the way her hair float behind her, the

light pink dress was lighted by the pale lightening coming from the ceiling all

together she looked like an angel dancing in heaven.

He couldn't forget what Angel did to her, how he forced himself on her, how he

viciously taunted her with his words and actions. His thought never came from a

want to revenge, not to hurt Angel, but from a deep growing concern for this

slip of a girl. He didn't know where it came from, he wanted to take her away

from Angel, to be with her forever; to protect her and see her dance, just like

now, a dance of freedom.

_****_

_**Would you dance**_

_**If I asked you to dance?**_

_**Would you run**_

_**And never look back?**_

Buffy flew to her own rhythm, her thoughts far away. It had always happened to

her when she skated, forgetting everything and everyone around her, her body

moving to imaginary music floating through her mind. All she could feel was the

brush of wind as she moved. Deep down, inside, she thanked Lindsey for this

gateway, even if it was only for little while. She knew he was watching her,

but she didn't know his thoughts. Was he sorry for her? Did he know what Angel

did to her? Would he be her friend? Was he trying to save her?

_****_

_**Would you cry**_

_**If you saw me crying**_

_**Would you save my soul tonight?**_

He wanted to feel her in his arms, to smell her vanilla scent again. To wrap

his arms around her and melt in her golden hair. He wanted so badly to kiss her

lips, to taste what sultry heaven it could be.

_****_

_**Would you tremble**_

_**If I touched your lips?**_

_**Would you laugh?**_

_**Oh please tell me this**_

_**Now would you die**_

_**For the one you love?**_

_**Hold me in your arms tonight**_

_**I can be your hero, baby**_

_**I can kiss away the pain**_

_**I will stand by you forever**_

_**You can take my breath away**_

He knew for a fact that Angel would never let her go. He wouldn't give her up,

not for anyone, and especially not for Lindsey. But he had time, plenty of time

to make Buffy see how he could love her, how she could be with him, how she

would want to be with him, only a matter of time.

_****_

_**Would you swear**_

_**That you'll always be mine?**_

_**Would you lie?**_

_**Would you rub in mind?**_

_**Am I in too deep?**_

_**Have I lost my mind**_

_**I don't care you're here tonight.**_

He had definitely lost his mind. He had only seen her tonight, and all these

crazy thoughts that ran in his mind had nothing to do with Angel. He knew that

even if she wasn't involved with Angel she would still be his desire, every

man's desire. But wasn't she already?

_****_

_**Am I in to deep?**_

_**Have I lost my mind?**_

_**Well, I don't care you're here tonight**_

He would be her hero, her life, and finally her love...

_****_

_**I can be your hero, baby**_

_**I can kiss away the pain, oh yeah**_

_**I will stand by you forever**_

_**You can take my breath away**_


	22. Chapter 22

OK dear readers , I know it's been ages … the muse is back but not the beta

This is the new chapter and I have more to go which I'll publish only with a proper beta (any volunteers ?)

Would love to hear your thoughts

Eve

_Buffy crept silently through the dark entrance of the Hyperion, observing around; making sure that she was alone._

_Turning for the stairs she stopped dead in her tracks, although lacking her slayer strength she could still sense him, she'll always sense him._

_Whirling around quickly in a move only a slayer can perform she wasn't surprise to see Angel standing there._

_She knew he could smell her fear and tried to mask it and play bravado despite said fear. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her surrender, knowing that showing this weakness to an Angel- Angelus could cause the demon a much needed thrill and lust._

_Angel circled her like the predator he is, tsking and smirking, his dark orbs where his soul used to recede burning a hole in her already aching heart: when he looked at her she saw nothing in them, no kindness, no soul or loving, no Angel only the demon ,cruel and vicious dark and vengeful and by her actions tonight she could guess his state of mind._

_He stopped an inch from her touching a stray of blond hair, twirl it around his finger as she tried to stay put and not flinch from his touch, honestly not knowing whether he'll hit her or not_…


	23. Chapter 23

Author's note:

I am so very sorry for the long long wait, I know that I hate to wait for stories to be updated and I know that it's been tooooo long but I want to thank all of those who kept asking me about my fics and reviewed me and I've gained new readers also.

I want to thank **Frosty600** for the motivation to write again and I am dying here waiting for "Flip side" come on girl…where is my update?

Also great stories by **Angel-Buffy17** and **Angel's blue eyed girl**

A warning for this chapter: it is the closest to NC 17 you are officially warned!

Especially the next chapter.

And finally I do not have a beta so no criticism about spelling or grammar I suck at both and if you want me to go on with my fics with no beta then suck it up ))

Enjoy…

Eve

Previously on Black Heart…

_Buffy crept silently through the dark entrance of the Hyperion, observing around; making sure that she was alone._

_Turning for the stairs she stopped dead in her tracks, although lacking her slayer strength she could still sense him, she'll always sense him._

_Whirling around quickly in a move only a slayer can perform she wasn't surprise to see Angel standing there._

_She knew he could smell her fear and tried to mask it and play bravado despite said fear. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her surrender, knowing that showing this weakness to an Angel- Angelus could cause the demon a much needed thrill and lust._

_Angel circled her like the predator he is, tsking and smirking, his dark orbs where his soul used to recede burning a hole in her already aching heart: when he looked at her she saw nothing in them, no kindness, no soul or loving, no Angel only the demon ,cruel and vicious dark and vengeful and by her actions tonight she could guess his state of mind._

_He stopped an inch from her touching a stray of blond hair, twirl it around his finger as she tried to stay put and not flinch from his touch, honestly not knowing whether he'll hit her or not..._

He looked tiresome and upset assumingly because he looked for her for the rest of the night, not knowing whether she tried to runaway again or just left but either way he was upset. Now that she was standing here he mostly looked resolute, as in finally knowing that he chose right with his pervious dilemma, a dilemma that wasn't included by Buffy, getting her acceptance was something entirely deferent but essential never the less.

Buffy tried to slow her breathing and stay calm consider the predicament she was in but her throat felt dry and rusty and her heart was pounding fast, the waiting for his words or actions; cruel or not, left her with great anxiety, leaving a small hurt in her, reminding her of the times she used to confront her parents with her grades and deeds.

"My beloved wife, "he sarcastically mused, "As much as I'd love to punish you thoroughly for your disobedience and mistreat of me and believe me ", he posed Watching the fear flicker in her eyes for just a split second before it was gone, leaving her hazel green eyes defiance and proud. He smirked, _*very well then_*,he mused darkly *_we'll see about that soon enough*_

"I certainly will…I am lacking the time " he went on explaining, enjoying tremendously the fear and anxiety filling the air around them, "We need to leave now, your belongings were delivered to our new residence and I would like to be there already since I wasted too much time searching for you". he accused letting her know the threat still lay there underneath it all.

"Residence?" she managed to ask deciding for the time been to ignoring his threats and other innuendos, "What are you to talking about? I thought that we will stay here".

_*Ho God, where is he taking her*._

"Well Buffy if you would have stayed in the party acting like a good little wife then you would have known what I am talking about."

Her nostrils widened as she puffed air, anger creeping into her voice, "well Angelus" she empathized his demon name, waiting for him to protest but he looked amused by the try, not faulting with this accusations and what it truly presented for her.

"…I would have stayed in this lovely party talking to that ho of a woman, what was her name ? Luna? Lina? " she retorted angrily, remembering her insults and offensive innuendos concerning Angel's taste in women… "but after discovering your recent affair with another ho , this time a blond one I found myself terribly bored and found something else to do, more accurate someone else to do…I mean be, be with …a friend".

The moment those words has left her mouth and were spoken out loud she found herself regretting her impulse act, something inside her warned her to stop, put a stopper to her usually snide remarks and witty combats but another part of her wanted to fight back and resist, to gain back some of her pride and spirit and so she spoke, delivering words she had no knowledge of what it will cost her, what it will do to him.

Angel was amused so far, he planed on taunting her about her jealousy of Lila and use his demon that was fully embedded in him to shake and terrorize her but what she just said cut off any thoughts of mockery and banters.

He raised his masculine brow in surprise and a flicker of curiosity, folding his arms he waited patiently for her words.

"I…" she looked at his amused face and her heart broke all over again. He wished to mock, humiliate and laugh at her and she couldn't take it anymore, Being around Lindsey that night gave her back some of her old spirit and self awareness. she was Buffy damn it! The slayer spirit still resided in her despite lacking her physical strength and no one can take it away from her, it will always be a part of her and She will not be treated that way demon or not.

"I actually met someone nice…we spent some time together, he lifted up my spirit and I felt happy, do you remember happy or being nice to me?" she snapped, now that the flood gates were open she just couldn't stop, so she went on and on about her evening and how much fun she's had …"actually I think you know him, he knew you…"

During her long and unstoppable speech he contemplated whether she was telling the truth or not, he hoped that she wasn't stupid enough to actually befriend and talk to another man because frankly he wasn't sure how his demon would react but then as she talked on and on about ice cream and ice caped he smelled something, something familiar, defiance and dangers.

"…and I told him…" she yelped as he crushed her to him, smelling the other guy sense all over her. Buffy trembled as she felt his built up rage threatening to burst any minute.

"Now Buff" he snarled, "I know you are telling me the truth cause my little whore, I can smell him all over you. Tell me" He roared shaking her . She trembled in a renew fear and hesitation her dare situation caught up to her leaving tears to form in her eyes as she felt dizziness swapping her.

"Tell me who I need to kill who dared touch what's mine. Tell me!" he raged, loosing control while his demon coming to the surface demanding release.

Buffy looked at him, with teary eyes, like a deer caught in headlights, "Please Angel…" she whispered, "I am sorry…I've made a mistake, it was nothing, no one…" her voice was shaking and all her bravado was fading.

Angel released her suddenly, letting her stumble unexpected

"So it's Angel now Buff?" he mocked, "What happened to something more interesting to do?"

She took a step back missing his unnatural speed as he shoved her to the wall blocking her view with his arms at each side of her lovely head.

She couldn't stop trembling and shaking, she couldn't breathe or escape, how stupid could she be? Now another human been is going to die because of her childish jealousy, her wanting independence and a sense of pride. How could she forget that it wasn't just Angel now, that it was Angelus; not the one who was crazed after being locked up for almost a century in a soul- wrenching being the Angelus scourge of Europe, Darla's child, the most vicious of them all, what has she done?

"Answer me whore!" he raged, holding a fist of blond hair, not caring that it hurt her, not caring that he could smell her tears.

"Lindsey MacDonald" she finally managed to say, _*forgive me Linds but I have to think of my family and friends first*_

Angel was beyond himself, he let the demon loose, letting the sorrow and hurt fill his heart as he raged about someone else daring to touch what was his, has it been anyone else he would have just snapped his knack but Lindsey…Lindsey will pay with his life after a bit of torture, actually a lot of torture but Buffy here…well Buffy will have to learn a lesson that she will not forget soon enough.

She knew it, she could tell the exact moment when he decided to act and punish her. She had no doubt that Lindsey is a goner but right then she was more concerned about her.

She didn't fear physical pain well she did but she knew it, emotional pain …well that was something entirely else, one she feared will leave her scarred for a very long time.

Making her decision to act now or never she used the momentum to kick him at his family jewels and ran like hell.

She didn't go far though, Angel crashed her from behind, knocking her to the ground in a whoosh of air.

She struggled beneath him, trying desperately to release herself at least to buy enough time to calm the demon and reach Angel but it was all too late now, the demon was in control and he felt nothing but vengeance and savagery, he was going to reclaim his mate and reinforce his power and ownership over her.

She clawed with her fingers, trashed and kicked screaming at him to leave her alone while he raged and fought her, telling her that he will never let her go.

Before she could move again he savagely tore at her lovely dress and underwear, leaving her naked beneath him. He felt excited and aroused.

He dragged her screaming and struggling to his office pushing her face down on his mahogany desk, using speed and agility he used his belt tying her arms in front of her.

She didn't dare to move or speak, only her raged breathing sounded in the quiet room.

"Now Buff", he whispered deceptively calm and loving, "first there will be pain and pleasure and then humiliation."

She trembled a new, letting the tears fall down her face, thinking why couldn't she kept quiet for once, why she had to taunt him with snide remarks that brought forth the demon.

Angel enjoyed himself tremendously, feeling her sorrow despair and surrender making his cock hard and ready, confide in his pants.

She heard his zipper , nothing new here but all of a sudden she felt something cold and soft on her skin, more accurate her rosebud. She tensed as she felt him penetrate a finger inside her tight hole.

"Please, " she begged brokenly, "don't do that Angelus…please not that".

"Ho but I will most defiantly do that lover and much much more. Hold on tight…" he chuckled enjoying his own joke.

She was frighten and humiliated and tried to hold but he coo in her ear warning her that as long as she keep fight him and not relax it will hurt like hell.

Reluctantly she tried to relax, still letting the tears fall, timid and helpless like she never felt in her life before.

She knew it was going to be a night of pain and pleasure certain that it will not be her pleasure , not at all…

To be continued


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